"Untold" The Fall of Favre 2025 * * 1/2 Stars

THE UNTOLD STORY

"People say he was a football god". Yup, they're talking about retired quarterback Brett Favre, a gunslinger who had a cannon for an arm and threw enough interceptions to almost equal the number of days in a year (336). Hey, Johnny Utah ain't got nothing on this cat.

Anyway "Untold" The Fall of Favre is a Netflix documentary, devoid of empathy and rounding out at a hasty running time of 62 minutes. Yeah it doesn't celebrate Mississippi's favorite son, it merely lynches him. "Untold", well it delves into the last, dark 17 years or so of Brett's life. You know, when he was sending naughty, you-know-what pics to television personality Jenn Sterger or diverting federal welfare funds to non-welfare related causes. What, did you think "Untold" was gonna be mainly about Favre's Super Bowl title in '97 or his three league MVPs? Get reals. 

So OK, "Untold" The Fall of Favre features Brett Favre not being interviewed but being portrayed as a mystery man and/or enigma in terms of his rise in the almighty NFL ranks. Heck, that's the docu's strongest attribute that's few and far between, a chronicling of Favre's journey to getting that Hall of Fame nod while going over 70,000 yards passing. Too bad "Untold" concentrates more on Favre's smear campaign, as the media and even his own buds (like Peter King) sort of throw him under the proverbial bus. Hey, I'm not the biggest Favre fan (mainly because I live in Chi-town) but if I'm Brett myself, I'd sue "Untold's" production company EverWonder studio for defamation of character. I mean I don't care how well the darn thing turned out. 

All in all, "Untold" The Fall of Favre has solid archives, good pacing, crisp editing, and it holds your attention despite the veritable, Favre "hate" shenanigans. The problem however seems to be that it was either made by some die-hard Bears fan or someone with a huge amount of rancor. "Unfold" is almost completely slanted. Natch.  

Written by Jesse Burleson

Becoming Led Zeppelin 2025 * * Stars

RAMBLED ON

"I'm going to form my own band". Yeah you are Jimmy Page, and they will be one the greatest rock bands to ever walk the face of the Earth. Hey, you can't argue with 300 million albums sold worldwide.

Anyway 2025's Becoming Led Zeppelin is a Sony Pictures documentary, a mere bullet point presentation of "Zep's" beginnings stretched out to 2 hours runtime. It's lengthy yet rather abrupt, tastefully done yet surprisingly careful, loud and rocked out yet fairly wandering. Yeah the "becoming" part of Becoming Led Zeppelin made sense here. The "leaving" part, well it "left" me unfulfilled as a critic and as a viewer. 

So OK, why does "Becoming" take 121 minutes to merely go over Zeppelin's collaborative genesis and their rocking, first two albums? I mean if that's the case then make the darn film a miniseries instead, something of better value for good old Netflix to offer. And why does Becoming Led Zeppelin the pic play it so veritably shielded, bypassing their mystique in favor of something that the musical troop approved instead of entertaining any morbid curiosity that could have fueled the eyeing audience. 

So what, no mention of lead singer Robert Plant's fascination with Indian and North African styles of music? No mention of drummer John Bonham's legendary demise in 1980? No mention of Page's obsession with the occult and his purchasing of Aleister Crowley's home? And uh, no mention of Zep's shark incident with a partying groupie (you know what I'm talking about)? 

Sure "Becoming" has well-preserved archives, sure the editing is standard and crisp, sure the interviews are ultimately pensive, and sure, these lads with their thunderous instruments could bring down the house like no one's business. But why see Becoming Led Zeppelin when you'd be better off reading the first half of the bluesy troupe's wiki page in thorough detail. "Becoming" unbecoming. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Karate Kid: Legends 2025 * * Stars

THEY CALL ME LI FONG

I read somewhere on the Internet that Ralph Macchio is 63 years old. That's just crazy to me. I mean he'll always be young Daniel LaRusso in my book. Guess I'm still stuck in good old 1984. Ralph, yeah he shows up about an hour into 2025's Karate Kid: Legends, a sixth film in the distance running, Karate Kid franchise. Macchio's stay in "Legends" adds up to a sort of long-winded, thankless cameo. Yup, he probably got paid about $100,000 a line so that means he pocketed $3 mil. Cobra Kai never dies baby!!

Anyway Karate Kid: Legends is nearly a cash grab, an incredibly underwhelming entry in the Karate Kid canon. It clocks in at about 94 minutes, formulaic, devoid of character development, and sadly made for the malnourished, MTV crowd. I mean you'd be better off watching an alternate, hour and a half action thriller like '83's Revenge of the Ninja. At least you'd get a more compelling, darker side of martial arts met with an actual conflict and/or skirmish. "Sometimes it is the only way to move forward". Are you sure about that boss? Are ya?

Directed by a feature rookie in Jonathan Entwistle and appearing like it was made on a short weekend (that's not a compliment), Karate Kid: Legends is about a young boy who moves from Beijing to NYC only to be coerced by an old sage (Jackie Chan as Mr. Han) into competing in a karate competition called the Five Boroughs Tournament (I've never heard of such a thing). There's a final grudge match, some training, a tormentor, and a green-eyed romance so it's basically the diegesis of the first Karate Kid chapter all over again. The problem here is that it doesn't feel like there's much at stake and despite the punchy fight sequences (which are well shot), Karate Kid: Legends literally evaporates right after you see it. This kid manages to "stay in the picture" until he doesn't. Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning 2025 * * Stars

ON THIS MISSION

I read somewhere that Tom Cruise might do Mission: Impossible movies till he's ninety. That's "crazy town". I mean there's no way that could happen but you've got to admire Tommy boy's ambition. At 62, he's rolled out 2025's Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning, a 170-minute sequel and supposedly the last installment in the franchise. Yeah right. Based on the closing shot of "Final Reckoning", I "reckon" no. Hey, you heard what the Cruiser said.

Anyway Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning unfortunately does what "Dead Reckoning Part One" did two years ago. It provides an uneven, elongated script that nearly dumb-s down the actors. The film is about Ethan Hunt and his buds trying to stop an (AI) called the Entity who could destroy mankind. Yup, that was off of "Final Reckoning's" wiki page, I'm not gonna lie. Otherwise everything else in terms of the flick's diegesis is balderdash in the purest form. 

So what's left to admire with "Final Reckoning?" Well you have shootout and/or fistfight scenes and the Cruiser risking his life doing his own stunts. I mean isn't that why we pony up $10.50? Sadly either said scenes are cut too quickly or Tom's Hunt takes forever to retrieve a submarine module underwater or chase down a baddie in a biplane. Yeah, I'm thinking Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning needed an editor with a tighter sense of craft or someone with the legendary pedigree of Thelma Schoonmaker to sift through the whole lumpy shebang. "This can't all be true". But it is my dear, it truly is.  

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning is directed by Christopher McQuarrie, a sometimes meat and potatoes filmmaker and Tom Cruise's cinematic, Siamese twin. I mean I liked his touches in the first hour, what with all the psychedelic fast cutting and the flashbacks, a sort of greatest hits collection in regards to the other seven M:I pics that came before it. But ultimately, "Final Reckoning" is a slight letdown, an almost blatant excuse to put out another one of these bloated things in 2-3 years. More of Tom Cruise running (eh), more of Simon Pegg acting like well, Simon Pegg (ugh), more globetrotting than the TV show Where in the World is Matt Lauer (double ugh), and Hunt having to save the world because no one else can fit it in their darn calendar. Um, there's no "self-destructing messaging" going on here. Natch.

Written by Jesse Burleson