"I feel the same about what I do, it's my true calling." What, to feed defenseless women to hungry sharks via the waters of good old Australia? And camcorder-shoot the whole darn thing like you're Federico Fellini on the low? Might wanna question your own soundness pal.
2025's Dangerous Animals, well it's about a serial killer who picks up a surfer who may have different plans other than being maimed by those creepy, long-bodied marine fish (see first paragraph). Said surfer is cutie-pie Zephyr and she is played without reticence by Hassie Harrison, the poor man's lookalike a la Jennifer Lawrence.
So yeah, "Animals" is in fact a shark flick and just because it includes the hook of some psycho who's Matt Hooper-obsessed with beach beard in tote doesn't mean it's wholly original. Remember Meg 2: The Trench and Deep Blue Sea 3 came out just recently and um, they had credible special effects, not low grant Hitchcockian leavings.
Starring Harrison (mentioned earlier), Jai Courtney, and Josh Heuston and shot in the Gold Coast near Queensland, Dangerous Animals has some disturbing and compelling moments saddled with a decent soundtrack comprised of punk and classic rock remnants. I mean one might even say there's a serviceable vehicle there for horror enthusiasts so bent on getting their fix they'd see anything blood-soaked in a blackened theater.
The problem however lies in Sean Byrne's pedestrian direction, his lack of implausibility with his rather pliant characters, and his need to drag out "Animals" to the point where it drains the viewer of any real dramatic momentum. I mean you take out Jai Courtney's solid, transformative performance as evil boat captain Tucker and you're left with a VOD in the Best Buy bin, a Split wannabe that poses as a weak memo in the M. Night Shama Lama Ding Dong canon. "Dangerous grounded."
Written by Jesse Burleson
