Upgrade 2018 * * * Stars

Director: Leigh Whannell
Year: 2018
Rated R
Rating: * * * Stars
Cast: Logan Marshall-Green, Betty Gabriel, Melanie Vallejo

Grey Trace (played by Logan Marshall-Green) loses his spouse in a street robbery and then becomes paralyzed by the evil thugs involved. After taking part in a scientific experiment that helps him walk again, Trace forgoes his suicidal tendencies and decides to seek revenge on his wife's killers. That's the gist of 2018's Upgrade, a missed science fiction yarn that blocked its marketing efforts and suffered a lousy box office take last June.

Spiked with Tarantino-style violence, Runaway-style car chases, a not too overdone futuristic setting, and some good old-fashioned storytelling, Upgrade rises above most of the direct-to-video sci-fi that it faintly replicates. Director Leigh Whannell creates a world full of autonomous cars, numerous roving drones, bloody butchering, and curvy city landscapes. This is coming from the same dude that wrote the Saw movies and acted in Insidious and The Matrix Reloaded. It all comes full circle here.

So Yeah, the title of Upgrade refers to Trace's "upgraded" body, controlled by a centipede chip and a hidden voice that feels like Hal 9000 for a new generation. Grey can fight and kill with mechanical efficiency a la Chuck Norris on steroids. He can also run like the wind and expand his brain to play revengeful and deceptive detective. Watching Upgrade reminded me of stuff like Death Wish, Blade Runner, Self/less, and 1990's Total Recall. It's a small scale version of these films while still containing its own form of cold ingenuity (Upgrade's glassy look and budget feel a little more advanced than the $3-$5 million reported).

Sure Upgrade contains B-movie plotting, a sort of muddled ending, one too many twists, and actors of unknown origin (Marshall-Green is ruggedly cast but he's a "C" lister at best). Still, the flick is worth a peek if you like your technological gadgetry mixed with gloominess, gore, and noir. Bottom line: Upgrade may have been overlooked this summer but it happily brings you "up to code". My rating: 3 stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Mile 22 2018 * * 1/2 Stars

Director: Peter Berg
Year: 2018
Rated R
Rating: * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Iko Uwais, John Malkovich

A band of CIA operatives have to travel 22 miles through Southeast Asia. They must transport a foreign intelligence asset for extraction. Along the way, terrorists and street hoodlums are out to kill the chipper operatives and reclaim said asset. That's the blueprint of Mile 22, a mini Black Hawk Down that feels like one long, slack 95-minute action sequence (that happens to be "22's" subsequent running time). In truth, "22" is so hyper-kinetic and so all over the place, it comes off as the movie equivalent of a 10-year-old boy who forgot to take his Ritalin. Non-sympathetic, vacant, and morbidly violent are other words I would use to describe Mile 22.

So yeah, "22" on paper seems like the perfect vehicle for its star, Mark Wahlberg. In true obligatory fashion, Marky Mark spits out insulting and hard-hearted dialogue like a hyena on angel dust. Saddled with a clunky script by rookie Lea Carpenter, Wahlberg does have some lines that relegate a sort of badass detection. However, most of what he says feels like gargled, espionage gibberish. And oh yeah, don't get me started on his character constantly snapping a rubbing band around his wrist. That's just one of the quirks that makes Mark's James Silva so quote unquote, "mentally unstable".

Anyway, Mile 22 has plenty of nasty fistfights, "Hand of God" explosions, sundry fast cuts, hi-tech sutures, and deafening shootouts (if you can see what's visibly going on). They keep the flick from being anything but boring and void of energy. Also, I sort of dug "22's" gotcha ending which is kinda reminiscent of The Usual Suspects and 2003's Basic. Still, Mile 22 projects like a rushed and swiftly pasted effort from its otherwise calculated and nuanced director, Peter Berg.

Bottom line: Berg and Wahlberg make Mile 22 a grandstanding and strutting affair. Nonetheless, they got much better "mileage" when they tackled the subject of the Boston Marathon bombing via Patriot's Day (from a couple of years ago). Knowing that Peter Berg will bounce back with more heroic, true story fodder in the near future, I'm gonna go with a two and a half star rating here.

Written by Jesse Burleson

The Meg 2018 * 1/2 Stars

Director: Jon Turteltaub
Year: 2018
Rated PG-13
Rating: * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Jason Statham, Li Bingbing, Rainn Wilson

A prehistoric shark nestled at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, makes its way to the surface to feast on residents of Sanya Bay and a group of la-di-da scientists. It's up to rescue diver Jonas Taylor (played Jason Statham) to save the day and of course narrowly avoid getting eaten. That's the rub of 2018's The Meg, a science fiction thriller that disregards B-movie fun and entertainingly dumb, summer fun. In truth, "Meg" may be big and loud but it's one hollow spectacle rifled with messy ideals. Somewhere author Peter Benchley is probably rolling in his grave and Steven Spielberg is royally shaking his head.

So yeah, the title of The Meg refers to a Megalodon. It's an extinct species of shark that lived millions and millions of years ago. The Megalodon in "Meg" kills a few people but you never view any blood or carnage. You just see human casualties faintly disappear or kinda get swallowed up (hence the weak, PG-13 rating). I never thought I'd say this but watching The Meg made me yearn for something more like 2010's Piranha 3D. "3D's" no masterpiece but at least it confirms that people actually become fish food in the hands of nasty, tooth-like creatures.

Anyway, The Meg gives us direction by John Turteltaub that contains choppy editing (no pun intended), unnecessarily infused humor, and an inconsistency in the avenue of storyboards (every pseudo, heart rendering sequence seems to randomly pop up or flow unevenly). Also, "Meg" saddles the audience with the odd casting choice of Jason Statham in the lead. After seeing "Meg", I realized that Statham is better off doing another Expendables or Transporter sequel. Yeah he may be decent in many butt-kicking action scenes. However, JayBird has never had much in the way of screen presence with the dude possessing about 1-2 facial expressions total (sorta like Dwayne Johnson if you know what I mean).

In retrospect, The Meg feels like just another Jaws ripoff with updated special effects, less suspense, and a larger specimen of great white on the cocky prowl (yup, you're gonna need a much bigger boat). The characters that "Meg's" shark reeks havoc on are unappealing and ones you don't really want to root for to survive. As for the headlining shark itself, well it may be up to 60 feet in length but it has the attested personality of a gnat. Bottom line: This "Meg" is truly a bad "egg". My rating: 1 and a half stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Bad Samaritan 2018 * * 1/2 Stars

Director: Dean Devlin
Year: 2018
Rated R
Rating: * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: David Tennant, Robert Sheehan, Kerry Condon

A petty thief who's also a budding photographer (and resident pot head), attempts to rob a rich guy's sterile abode. Here's the problem: That same rich guy has a woman chained up, held captive, and gagged in his office. Said guy finds out about the thief's break in (and rescue attempt) and tries to make his life a living hell. That's the gist of the decently acted, comically inept, and tamely R-rated, Bad Samaritan. It's my latest review.

"Samaritan" is actually about a good Samaritan and not a bad Samaritan (despite the tag of the film's title). Sure the thief character pilfers stuff (by way of deceptive valet parking) but at least he's willing to save a human life, face alleged jail time, and not turn the other cheek.

Anyway, Bad Samaritan while not quite recommendable, has one of the most original and most kosher premises of any flick I've seen this year. At an overlong running time of 111 minutes (when an hour and a half would've sufficed), "Samaritan" contains a small amount of Hitchcockian flavor, some overcast Rose City chic, and some rocketing buildup in its opening act. Then, the film piles on plot detours and turns until it concludes on a rather silly note.

"Samaritan's" director (Dean Devlin) trades in his sci-fi producer roots to make a thriller that contains enough cell phone usage and clueless cop intuition to power a small country. His focus is on psychological tug of war, cliched Facebook notions, slick cars, requisite jump scares, and a lack of visible bloodshed. With Bad Samaritan's hyperactive musical score and overly earnest way of creating suspense, Devlin might be making a movie that's too mildly ambitious for its own good. He shoots "Samaritan" with a nippy, Portland, Oregon setting and a villain that looks like Kyle MacLaclan a la an episode of the defunct Tales from the Crypt. I was absorbed most of the way but I kept saying to myself, "Dean, just end this thing already".

Bottom line: Bad Samaritan might be one of the best rentals of 2018 (disregard its paltry, $4.1 million take at the box office). Still, it gets a two and a half star rating from me. This "Samaritan" ain't bad but it presents itself in a disappointingly "charitable" way.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Mission: Impossible - Fallout 2018 * * * Stars

Director: Christopher McQuarrie
Year: 2018
Rated PG-13
Rating: * * * Stars
Cast: Tom Cruise, Henry Cavill, Ving Rhames

I haven't seen an M:I flick since J.J. Abrams got behind the lens in 2006's Mission: Impossible III. It's now 12 years later and I'm glad I decided to revisit this juggernaut of a techie gag franchise. Heck, star Tom Cruise at a Rob Lowe-like age of 56, is a lifetime away from any AARP BS here.

So yeah, I'm talking about Mission: Impossible - Fallout (my latest review). It has to do with something about plutonium cores and saving places like Jerusalem and the Vatican from nuclear destruction. Cruise and company are back to light it up. They give you a brisk 147 minutes of pure adrenaline, pure poetry, lush locales, and some seriously deluxe, motion camerawork.

Sure "Fallout" contains numerous twists which appear as though the screenwriters are making stuff up as they go along. And yes, the scenes between all the visceral mayhem seem like languid preludes or clear setups. Oh well. With Mission: Impossible - Fallout, it's all about the steadily forced engagement sequences that take a big fat dump on the concept of CGI. You know the ones where the director gives Cruise's Ethan Hunt tailor made chances to survive by the skin of his teeth.

There's an aerodynamic motorcycle chase so brilliantly filmed by Christopher McQuarrie, you feel like you're in it and living it. There's also an in-your-face helicopter pursuit (and crash) that no human being could survive (but of course Hunt does). Finally, there's a bathroom fistfight segment with punches and bone cracks so loud, you might need earplugs. For reasons clearly evident, "Fallout" contains some of the most fearless and most outlandish stunt work I've seen in many a moon. I'm remember turning to talk to my friend at the theater and whispering, "are you seeing this dude, seriously?"

Anyway, "Fallout's" acting standouts include of course Tom Cruise (except when he's talking to himself in airborne fashion) plus Henry Cavill and Sean Harris as would-be villains. As for director Christopher McQuarrie, well his staging of action is up there with some of the greats (I'm talking John Woo, William Friedkin, George Miller, and John McTiernan. All for different reasons). Too bad McQuarrie's mumbled script, predetermined chaos, and messy narrative for "Fallout" fail to measure up. Still worth a recommendation though. Rating: 3 stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Occupation 2018 * 1/2 Stars

Director: Luke Sparke
Year: 2018
Rated R
Rating: * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Dan Ewing, Stephanie Jackson, Rhiannon Fish

Extraterrestrials that look like your paint-by-number extraterrestrials, invade a small Australian town. It's up to said townspeople to go military, defeat them, and save the human race. Time to put another burnt shrimp on the barbie and give blokes and sheilas a bad name. That's the gist of Occupation, my latest review. Oh and I almost forgot, what the heck does this flick's title mean anyway? It's balderdash I tell you. Pure balderdash!

Anyway, Occupation while never lacking in energy, brute villainy, and a tonally inconsistent musical score, is one of the cheesiest and worst movies of 2018. At a convoluted and overlong 120 minutes, Occupation strives to be Independence Day meets War of the Worlds meets The Walking Dead meets Red Dawn meets Signs meets Arrival (uh talk about copycatting). Instead, director Luke Sparke fashions something in the vein of Battlefield Earth meets Planet 9 from Outer Space meets Saturday the 14th Strikes Back. Sparke as Aussie's version of Ed Wood, shoots Occupation as a jerry-built, show-and-tell project. Like I said, cheesy.

Along with cheap special effects, sloppy editing, some laughable slow-motion shots, and the tired adage of documentary-style footage, Occupation's school play acting is pure abomination with its stock characters appearing one-dimensional and childlike. They bicker in cliche as they reside in their prescribed, Army state. As for the parodied aliens involved, well they're no prize either. Do you enjoy E.T.s dressed up in tacky Judge Dredd costumes and spouting off poor man's, Evil Dead jibber-jabber? Neither do I man. Neither do I.

All in all, I faithfully deem Occupation as a modern day, drive-in theater turd or the kind of pic that's a legend in its own mind (a sequel to Occupation is in the works and that scares me). Bottom line: Occupation is a bad, cinematic "line of work" mate. My rating: 1 and a half stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson