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Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Trauma Center 2019 * Star

Trauma CenterDirector: Matt Eskandari
Year: 2019
Rated R
Rating: * Star
Cast: Bruce Willis, Steve Guttenberg, Nicky Whelan

"You're a witness". Yeah I was a witness too. I witnessed one of the worst pics of 2019 in Trauma Center. Prepare to be "traumatized" if you choose to see it (VOD is probably your only vested option).

Anyway, have you ever viewed a film in which the present day lighting looks and feels like a flashback? And have you ever taken in a Steve Guttenberg performance with two short scenes that scream acting 101? Trauma Center is that film and it makes hospital fodder like Coma, Halloween II, and John Q. seem like Citizen Kane in comparison.

Image result for trauma center movie scenes 2019Trauma Center, with its muttered line deliveries by star Bruce Willis and its idle production values, feels like it was made by amateurs for amateurs. Director Matt Eskandari (who should know better) favors cue card, soap opera performing over capable casting. He also favors Michael Bay aerial shots over baseline camerawork. Finally, he favors short cut scripting over well, a decent script.

Probably made feverishly on time and on budget (what budget you ask), Trauma Center's story involves a woman who witnesses two corrupt cops kill another cop. The woman (Madison Taylor played by Nicky Whelan) survives a gunshot wound and is taken to an isolation ward for her safety. Sadly, said cops know she is alive. They plan to find her, kill her, and take a piece of evidence she has that will implicate them in the murderous crime (the attestation is a bullet in her leg, hilarious).

Image result for trauma center movie scenes 2019As a critic, I have a long-running rule. The rule is never give zero stars to a movie. Why? Because film-making is hard work and involves a lot of hard-working bodies. With Trauma Center's minuscule character development, bad consultation, and nonchalant way of short-changing the audience, I nearly broke that rule. Bottom line: Stay away from Trauma Center and stay away "stat!" Rating: 1 star.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Saturday, December 28, 2019

My Top Ten Movie Picks of 2019

Image result for apollo 11 movie poster1. Apollo 11-  The spaceflight involving the first two people to land on the moon is gloriously and masterfully depicted in Apollo 11. It's the best film of 2019 and the most heady since Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey.





Image result for Dark waters movie poster2. Dark Waters - If you like the dreary temperament of North Country, the investigative candor of Erin Brockovich, the exhaustion of A Civil Action, or 2015's Spotlight, then Dark Waters will effectively put you in cinematic harm's way.





Image result for the art of racing in the rain movie poster3. The Art of Racing in the Rain - The Art of Racing in the Rain is feel-good fodder people, with a few dark turns (no pun intended), a story seen realistically through a whelp's eyes, and not a whole lot of actual racing (that's OK). You're not quite a human person if you can't enjoy a film like this.

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3. (Tie) Uncut Gems - Directed by two brothers (Josh Safdie, Benny Safdie), filmed chiefly in close-ups, featuring some weird colonoscopy imagery, and co-starring former NBA great Kevin Garnett (that's some brilliant casting there), Uncut Gems is the cinematic equivalent of pure cocaine mixed with high-grade angel dust.





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4. Miss Bala - "Bala's" director (Catherine Hardwicke of Twilight fame) creates a flick so dangerous, so well plotted, so willful, and so vulnerably unsafe, you won't be able to catch your breath.


Image result for spider-man far from home movie poster5. Spider-Man: Far From Home - Spider-Man: Far From Home, with its international flavor and its introduction of Jake Gyllenhaal to the Marvel universe, feels like one of the best good time, hangout flicks in the Spider-Man franchise canon. Yes it's live-action fodder but "Far From Home" also has the look of being sort of cartoonish. Trust me, I'm okay with that.

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5. (Tie) Richard JewellRichard Jewell, while looking more proficient instead of being unnecessarily flashy, is a sledgehammering account of persecution, a well cast drama, and a thorough biopic to boot.





Image result for ford v ferrari movie poster6. Ford v Ferrari - With smooth direction by James Mangold, some capable editing by Michael McCusker, some sleek rides, and a bleached out, beach blanket be-bop look, Ford v Ferrari provides the viewer with an old-world night at the cineplex. Call it "stampede for speed".







Image result for serenity movie titles7. Serenity - A fishing boat captain named Baker Dill, is visited by his frazzled ex-wife. She wants him to kill her current husband because the a-hole is harshly abusive to their astute son. That's the fugazi blueprint for 2019's Serenity. In all truthfulness, I really got into Serenity. Yeah, it's a movie lover's movie if there ever was one.





Image result for the irishman movie poster8. The Irishman - The Irishman is a sprawling and calculated epic. It's talky rather than flashy. It's phlegmatic as opposed to being overly violent. Its sense of time and place is sumptuous as opposed to being visibly forced. Its use of flashbacks is pertinent as opposed to being an obligatory gimmick.





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9. Ma Ma, with its eager malaise and unpromising, small town feel, provides spot-on casting and the makings of something a la the midnight movie circuit. Octavia Spencer in Ma's lead role, gets her Kathy Bates on and becomes the badass, cinematic wretch terror fans have always yearned for.


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10. Queen & SlimQueen & Slim's director (rookie Melina Matsoukas) presents a bleak vision of racial injustice and badge number hellfire that although fictitious and one-sided, feels all-too real. With Melina's streamlined and atmospheric direction and Tat Radcliffe's massively surrounding camerawork, I felt like I was in Queen & Slim. Heck, I felt like I was living it.



Honorable Mention: John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum, We Die Young, 47 Meters Down: Uncaged, Anna, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Little Women, Cold Blood. These are all good films that didn't quite make the cut.


And the worst...

1. Trauma Center - Trauma Center, with its muttered line deliveries by star Bruce Willis and its idle production values, feels like it was made by amateurs for amateurs.

1. (Tie) A Haunting at Silver Falls: The Return - This garbage is only frightening if you've never seen an actual horror film before.

2. The Challenger Disaster - The Challenger Disaster seems like a fitting title. Fitting for the "disaster" part anyway.

3. Against the Clock - Against the Clock is the classic case of a Hollywood studio letting the director do whatever he wants when he wants.

4. Glass - Glass again shows director M. Night Shyamalan at his most pretentious and his most la-di-da.

5. Trading Paint - Imagine Days of Thunder on a shoestring budget with star John Travolta sporting yet another bad hairpiece.

List compiled by Jesse Burleson

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Uncut Gems 2019 * * * 1/2 Stars

Uncut GemsDirectors: Josh Safdie, Benny Safdie
Year: 2019
Rated R
Rating: * * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Adam Sandler, Kevin Garnett, Idina Menzel

Howard Ratner (played by improv over-loader and live-in caricature Adam Sandler) is a bungling jeweler, a trying BS-er, and an addictive gambler. He gets in way over his head making risky bets in order to finally get that big score. That's the gist of the inflamed and black-eyed Uncut Gems. It's my latest review.

Image result for uncut gems movie scenesYup, I am announcing "Gems" as one of 2019's best and most exhaustive films. After seeing it on Xmas day, I am sure I will never view anything quite like it again. Remember Mark Wahlberg's Jim Bennett from The Gambler or Matthew McConaughey's Brandon Lang from Two for the Money? Well Sandler's Howard makes these dudes look like Romper Room in comparison.

Directed by two thirty-year-old brothers (Josh Safdie, Benny Safdie), filmed chiefly in close-ups, featuring some weird colonoscopy imagery, and co-starring former NBA great Kevin Garnett (that's some brilliant casting there), Uncut Gems is the cinematic equivalent of pure cocaine mixed with high-grade angel dust.

Josh and Benny Safdie fashion "Gems" as a sloppy character study and New York minute minutia that still seems to work. The dialogue is raw and massively ad-libitum, there are enough F-words to make Tarantino blush, the camerawork is whizzing, and Sandler lets you know that he's light years away from his blundering, Bobby Boucher shtick.

Image result for uncut gems movie scenesSo yeah, Sandler's Ratner is an unlikable and turgidly reckless persona. And yes, "Gems" is so mean-spirited, so 80's synth happy, and so insouciant it dares you to despise it. Still, Uncut Gems enthralls you provided you dig a little Martin Scorsese or Oliver Stone on steroids. This thing is a live by the bet, die by the bet train wreck of a movie. All aboard but if you're gonna throw up, be sure to roll down a window. Rating: 3 and a half stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Friday, December 20, 2019

Black Christmas 2019 * * 1/2 Stars

Black ChristmasDirector: Sophia Takal
Year: 2019
Rated PG-13
Rating: * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Imogen Poots, Cary Elwes, Brittany O'Grady

At fictional Hawthorne College, sorority sisters get picked off one by one via some psychotic killers on Christmas vacation. That's just the outline of 2019's PG-13 rated, Black Christmas (uh oh on the neutered, PG-13 rating).

"Christmas" starts out like just another terror fest until frat boy mumbo jumbo and pledge manipulation take over. Hazing, possession, the Me Too movement, harassing DMs, and the smearing of black goo are also mainstays (hence the movie's title).

Image result for black christmas 2019 movie scenesBlack Christmas, while released on Friday the 13th, is the second remake of a 1974 film of the same name. And it's also just another horror flick in which you know who's gonna survive, who is not gonna survive, and who's dumb enough to think the authorities could ever be useful.

"Christmas" is directed by New Jersey native and third time helmer, Sophia Takal. Also an actress of various independent films, Takal shoots Black Christmas like a 70's snuff pic cloaked in contemporary social media. There's some zoom in shots, some zoom out shots, a lot of dark hues, and plenty of earthiness. I've never actually seen the original Black Christmas but I've viewed various clips. Takal with similar opening credit titles and a need for present day nostalgia, tries to recreate the look of a cult vehicle that came out forty-plus years ago.

Image result for black christmas 2019 movie scenesBlack Christmas, which features a likable cast including Cary Elwes and Imogen Poots (Poots might be a little too old to play a college student), is like The Skulls meets Urban Legend meets Scream. All you gotta do is dress it up holiday-style. What "Christmas" lacks is scares, some actual gore, some visible kills, and a need to be indispensable. Hey, it's worth at least a rental while you're wrapping your presents, putting on the tinsel, or slurping some craft eggnog. Rating: 2 and a half stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Richard Jewell 2019 * * * 1/2 Stars

Richard Jewell Director: Clint Eastwood
Year: 2019
Rated R
Rating: * * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Paul Walter Hauser, Sam Rockwell, Kathy Bates

"You're a suspect, you don't talk." Any moviegoer would be "suspect" if they didn't at least check out 2019's Richard Jewell. Along with Dark Waters and The Irishman, "Jewell" is one of the best films of this year being based on a true-life article (or book).

Richard Jewell, while looking more proficient instead of being unnecessarily flashy, is a sledgehammering account of persecution, a well cast drama, and a thorough biopic to boot. 

In truth, if you like Clint Eastwood movies based on true stories (Sully, American Sniper, Changeling), then "Jewell" will keep your cinematic playing field level. And if you demand an impeccable sense of time and place (summer in Atlanta circa 1996), then Richard Jewell will put you right there nervously singing the tune "Macarena".

Image result for richard jewell movie scenesProduced by Leonardo DiCaprio (yes that Leo) and distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures (most Clint Eastwood flicks are), "Jewell" chronicles the Centennial Olympic Park Bombing via the '96 Summer Olympics. A security guard working there (Richard Jewell) discovers a bomb and alerts authorities only to be accused of planting the darn thing himself.

Edited cleanly in time lines, easy to follow, and devoid of any major glitz, Richard Jewell runs 129 minutes with hand-held director Paul Greengrass originally on board to helm. I'm kinda glad Eastwood took over the project. Greengrass is more of a jittery, elusive action guy as opposed to being a one-take regulator like Clint Eastwood. "Jewel's" diegesis might not be fast-paced enough for good old Paulie.

All in all, the best things about "Jewell" are Eastwood's tireless attention to detail, his standardized yet streamlined direction, and his actors who are perfect for their roles (Paul Walter Hauser as Jewell, Jon Hamm as FBI agent Tom Shaw, and Kathy Bates as Jewell's emotionally distraught mom).

Image result for richard jewell movie scenesI remember saying in 2018 that Clint Eastwood needed to better his faulty directorial decisions and take his time more (that was in regards to The 15:17 to Paris). With Richard Jewell, I guess he heeded my advice. Rating: 3 and a half stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson