Who Killed the Montreal Expos? 2025 * 1/2 Stars

GROUNDOUT

I read somewhere on the Internet that the Montreal Expos stopped being the Montreal Expos in 2005. Um, that's like twenty years ago. I mean since then we've had the rise of social media, the 2008 financial crisis, COVID, and the emergence of the iPhone. And people are well, still bringing up those 'Spos, an MLB team that won 1 division title in 25 years and had a bunch of losing seasons. "Montreal is a baseball city". Uh, you really think so Pedro Martinez? Really?

Anyway Who Killed the Montreal Expos? is my latest write-up, a documentary that seems constructed accidentally by a hyena who wandered into the editing room amped up on angel dust. Basically what I'm saying is this thing is fast-paced to the point where its cinematic form is nearly butchered. No real coda, no first act, no cogent spiel, just a lot of Expos particulars thrown at the screen like splatter paintings. "It started to fall apart". Yeah absotively boss. Absotively. 

Directed by TV vet Jean-Francois Poisson and rather blinkered when it comes to the opinions of Expos fans almost everywhere, Who Killed the Montreal Expos? is well, about the downfall of said team and how they left "The Land of Maple" to head to good old Washington, D.C. to become the Washington Nationals (how random is that?). 

Lots of archives on and off the celluloid faster than a speeding bullet. A lot of bad translation voices over the French-spoken interviews without the use of subtitles. A sort of soap-boxed, one-sided view from the denizens of Montreal, blaming the world for the Expos not being a franchise anymore. And this despite the fact that the owners were bad with money, the stadium stunk up the joint, and um, the first Major League Baseball team outside the US couldn't win Jack "you know what". I mean this film shouldn't be titled Who Killed the Montreal Expos? I think it should be titled an elongated, "Who Really Caaaares". Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Roofman 2025 * * * Stars

SAWTOOTH ROOF

Jeffery Manchester gets caught by the po-po after robbing a McDonald's. Jeffery escapes prison and hides out in a Toys "R" Us as he noshes on peanut M&M'S. Jeffery befriends a single mom and bible thump-er while being a fugitive. Jeffery Manchester attempts to leave the country under a new identity for 50k. Yup, that's the gist of Roofman, a moderate drama that I initially thought was an unconventional comedy. Whatevs. I mean don't let the poster fool ya, this isn't 1991's Career Opportunities people. 

The real-life Manchester, well he's played by Channing Tatum in probably his most raw and layered performance to date. Tatum's Jeffery is a smart dude but a lousy criminal. He's solid at evading the law but bad when he actually gets caught. Jeffery loves his "B and E's" by entering rooftops but sometimes goes to the wrong proprietorship. Yikes! Yeah this is a tailored role for the 45-year-old, Alabama native what with all his physical and mental portraying on display. I mean I can't see anyone else as Manchester except maybe 80s Matt Dillon or 90s Keanu. "But I was good at seeing things". Uh, no doubt Tatum. No doubt my brother. 

True story characters and "cool breezes" aside, Roofman is well directed by Derek Cianfrance, a helmer known for crime and punishment aftermaths. He takes over two hours to commit to every frame while making Jeffery Manchester a sympathetic denizen who's probably better off being behind bars and wearing the almighty jumpsuit than hurting people on the outside. His cast is tops too, with Tatum, Kirsten Dunst as Jeffery's love interest, and LaKeith Steinfield as Steve, an army vet who helps Manchester get into say, illegal witness protection. Meaty script, great narration by Channing, grandiose, situational irony. Roofman, well it raises that aesthetic "roof". Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere 2025 * * * Stars

RADIO SOMEWHERE

Bruce Springsteen creates the album Nebraska from the bedroom of his New Jersey abode. "The boss"  battles depression and meets a pseudo groupie looking for a relationship. Bruce has flashbacks of his alcoholic father and contemplates suicide. Yup, that's the gist of Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere, a somewhat dark drama that's edited choppily yet packs enough of a wallop for any portrait of a rocker that's chock full of inner demons. 

Brucie, well he's played by Jeremy Allen White, a dude that doesn't look or sound like Jersey's favorite son. Oh well. He gets the slouch right, the hair is in place, and the hunch, well it's not too shabby either. "I do know who you are." Duh, who doesn't know who Springsteen is. I mean unless you've been hanging out in an igloo since 1973. 

So yeah, "Deliver" is not really a concert movie so don't expect the bossman to belt out a bunch of hits. This is a character study mind you, a supposed, true story character study that shows Bruce in his brooding element circa 1981-1982. 

Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere, yeah it's directed by Scott Cooper, he of Out of the Furnace and Black Mass fame. Cooper with rack focus, dark hues, and close-ups in tote, makes "Deliver" the product of doom and gloom, the monger of grubby and total slovenly. Heck, whenever I watch his movies I feel like I'm getting off work from an 18-hour steelworker shift only to find myself heading over to the local waterhole to sip a cold brewski. Believe that.

Film-making adroitness and Pennsylvania crime thrillers aside, Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere suffers slightly when it paints Bruce Springsteen as nearly in a brown study with a trifling "whoa is me" persona. Other than that it's well, earthy cinema, a snapshot canvas of a legendary American singer who was once considered the next Bob Dylan. Lighten up "Boss", "Deliver" pretty much "delivers" the goods. Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

John Candy: I Like Me 2025 * * 1/2 Stars

"WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET"

3rd time director (and actor) Colin Hanks helms John Candy: I Like Me. And how it took over thirty years to make a documentary about Candy's short existence is beyond me. "I Like Me" is a portrait of John, one of Canada's most successful comedic talents via film and TV. "This is a guy who, the minute you see his face, you're gonna smile". You tell 'em Dave Thomas. You tell 'em bro.

John Candy: I Like Me, well it's like the most garden variety docu you've ever seen, told chronologically like some bullet point presentation inspired by Last Dance monger and occasional producer Jason Hehir. I mean we know Candy was part owner of the Toronto Argonauts, we know he got his start playing various characters on SCTV, and we know he was a big, lovable galoot who was taken from us much too early (Candy died at age 43 in 1994). So why do we keeping watching the swipe that is "I Like Me?" Well everyone "likes" John Candy and myself, I'm just fascinating by his acting talent in films like Planes, Trains and Automobiles, JFK, and Splash. As Bert Lance said, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". 

So yeah, John Candy: I Like Me has interviews from John's buds like Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Martin, and the late Harold Ramis. There are also archives from Candy's career in the industry and revelations about his health (Johnny boy lost over 100 pounds before Hollywood encouraged him to put the weight back on, yikes!). What "I Like Me" fails to do however, is bring anything new to the transmission ring. The flick just feels like it's slightly fan-made, kind of akin to some safe paean without the panache. If it wasn't for the way Colin Hanks thinks in cuts or provides the pic with crisp, sprightly editing I would have panned John Candy: I Like Me completely. "Like" it or lump it. Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

My Father, the BTK Killer 2025 * * Stars

KILLER CROC

"Can you imagine finding out that your father is one of the most evil people on earth". That would be totally rough, especially if pops hid that murderous smoke for many decades. Dennis Rader, we hardly knew ya! Ugh.

Anyway My Father, the BTK Killer is a product of good old Netflix, slightly skewed, merely dated, and almost half-done at 93 minutes. I mean this documentary is like two films in one, colliding with each other like freaking passing ships. You have one flick depicting serial slayer Rader, the John Wayne Gacy of Wichita and Park City, Kansas. The other involves Dennis Rader's daughter in one Kerri Rawson, a woman that doesn't know the meaning of time healing all wounds and actual abstemiousness. 

Um, why dredge up the past with one more interview Kerri? And why the need to hug the spotlight of daddy when everyone still keeps giving you the business about it? Rawson's soapbox-like plight combined with law enforcement's relentless pursuit of a deranged lunatic gives "BTK Killer" the feel of being a very uneven viewing experience. "He doesn't just fool an entire family, he fools an entire city". Yikes!

Directed by TV veteran Skye Borgman and released in October of 2025, My Father, the BTK Killer is decently paced, has some eerie moments, some solid interviews, and provides grainy archives from 1974 to 1991 (the years Dennis Rader offed ten people under the radar, nudge nudge). I mean if you take away the presence of drawn-out Kerri Rawson, "BTK Killer" unfolds nicely, like an enthralling Dateline episode a la creep-o Keith Morrison at the helm. But Rawson just has to chew the almighty scenery mind you, inhabiting most of the screen time and eyeing My Father, the BTK Killer like an unintentional vanity enterprise on the low. "Father lasher". 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Trainwreck: P.I. Moms 2025 * * Stars

MOMMY DEARESTS 

"Finally, he actually answered." What?? If I'm a private investigator looking to become a star of the next Cold Justice I need a little more smoke than that.

So OK, another tell-all doc, brief, filmed with reenactments like some Unsolved Mysteries episode without the poser. Yeah I'm talking about Trainwreck: P.I. Moms, a Netflix flick so eleventh-hour and pasted together it might as well just float away. So, are the moms in "P.I." looking to grab another fifteen minutes of fame as they take a break from their supposed jobs at Dollar General, Mickey D's, and/or Bird's Nest pub? And does one of said moms have some parlous anger issues? "What is going on?" For 45 minutes, a lot of hot air, a little shenanigans, and some good old claptrap.

So yeah, there's unfocused bits and bobs going on with Trainwreck: P.I. Moms. For realz. I mean this isn't just about some soccer dames who want to be freelance gumshoes with their own reality show on tap. There's corrupt cops involved and whistleblowers and showrunners and drug trafficking oh my! Um, you want your docus going off on tangents and then ending with an abrupt, bestial threat? Do ya? Well "P.I." will provide that fix, like a hyena jonesing for fentanyl. Yikes!

Directed by TV monger Phil Bowman and shot at breakneck speed (that's not always a good thing), Trainwreck: P.I. Moms could've benefited from being longer in length and more attuned to the story of the four ladies who just wanted to be eminent and get their freaking Kardashian on. I mean have you ultimately heard of Amy Wiltz, Denise Antoon, Charmagne Peters, and/or Michelle Allen? Neither have I. Explaining their plight from 2010 in just over a half hour seems like a moot point doesn't it? "Investigator shoaled."

Written by Jesse Burleson

Trainwreck: Balloon Boy 2025 * * * Stars

TRAIN SPOTTING

A documentary that seems to unfold like enigmatic prose in the throes of northern Colorado and on the non-low. Yeah I'm talking about 2025' s Trainwreck: Balloon Boy, one of those short-lived shorts that definitely earns its two-syllable title. I mean is the family involved in "Balloon Boy" pulling a supposed hoax? And is said family a bunch of kooky kooks with potty mouths and recurved teeth? And uh, did people actually enjoy watching a TV show called um, Wife Swap. "This is a very unusual situation". You don't say boss. You don't say. 

So OK, there's a grainy look to "Balloon Boy", some news footage archives that feel mentally involved, and a rather passing running time of 52 minutes that is so prevalent with these so-called Trainwreck anthology endeavors. Basically with Trainwreck: Balloon Boy you're looking at a snapshot, a brief, cinematic abridgment that surprisingly lingers long after the credits roll. You want a 2-hour, feature-length film starring Bryan Cranston as an eccentric dad who makes his kids do spaceship arts and crafts while he gives the impression that he kicked it old school at MIT? Good luck with that chief. Good freaking luck!

Distributed by Netflix because they can and uh, will, Trainwreck: Balloon Boy is about the Heene fam, a husband, wife, and kids who decide to build a homemade flying saucer out of what looks like good old Pop-Tarts foil (lol). Here's the thing: when the saucer in question accidently floats away with what the media thinks is a Heene tyke trapped inside, all controversy and chaos ensue. I mean talk about the ultimate jape my young Padawans. "Balloon Boy", well it excels as a docu that paints sympathy for yet also makes a paradox of the pseudo-protagonists included. It's just polarizing and/or unearthly enough to recommend. Astro "boy".  

Written by Jesse Burleson

Dangerous Animals 2025 * * Stars

SHARK TAILED

"I feel the same about what I do, it's my true calling." What, to feed defenseless women to hungry sharks via the waters of good old Australia? And camcorder-shoot the whole darn thing like you're Federico Fellini on the low? Might wanna question your own soundness pal.

2025's Dangerous Animals, well it's about a serial killer who picks up a surfer who may have different plans other than being maimed by those creepy, long-bodied marine fish (see first paragraph). Said surfer is cutie-pie Zephyr and she is played without reticence by Hassie Harrison, the poor man's lookalike a la Jennifer Lawrence. 

So yeah, "Animals" is in fact a shark flick and just because it includes the hook of some psycho who's Matt Hooper-obsessed with beach beard in tote doesn't mean it's wholly original. Remember Meg 2: The Trench and Deep Blue Sea 3 came out just recently and um, they had credible special effects, not low grant Hitchcockian leavings. 

Starring Harrison (mentioned earlier), Jai Courtney, and Josh Heuston and shot in the Gold Coast near Queensland, Dangerous Animals has some disturbing and compelling moments saddled with a decent soundtrack comprised of punk and classic rock remnants. I mean one might even say there's a serviceable vehicle there for horror enthusiasts so bent on getting their fix they'd see anything blood-soaked in a blackened theater. 

The problem however lies in Sean Byrne's pedestrian direction, his lack of implausibility with his rather pliant characters, and his need to drag out "Animals" to the point where it drains the viewer of any real dramatic momentum. I mean you take out Jai Courtney's solid, transformative performance as evil boat captain Tucker and you're left with a VOD in the Best Buy bin, a Split wannabe that poses as a weak memo in the M. Night Shama Lama Ding Dong canon. "Dangerous grounded."

Written by Jesse Burleson

Terror Comes Knocking: The Marcela Borges Story 2025 * * * Stars

BALANCE OF TERROR

"I know everything about you." Yeah that's a comforting thought, for a sick criminal to know your name, occupation, net worth, address, pregnancy status, etc., etc., etc. Oh and said criminal also plans on killing you whether you meet her freaking demands or not. Like I said, totally comforting, fo sho.  

Anyway 2025's Terror Comes Knocking: The Marcela Borges Story does involve some knocking and ringing, and that's in narrow B&E form, as tension builds inch by inch like the almighty bricks via the Great Wall of Gorgan. What can I say, me loves some unputdownable Lifetime swipe combined with 20/20-like reenactments on the low. 

So yeah, as something about some disguised gunmen who barge into a Florida couple's home and demand $200,000 from them, "Terror Comes Knocking" is akin to stuff like Firewall and 1991's Captive and Funny Games and Mel's Ransom, movies where the bad guys have to act a fool and mess with the sacred loving fam, berating them and threatening them and nearly torturing them. "You think you can lie to me?" Uh no boss. I um, wouldn't dream of it, really! 

Based on a true story in some violent, far-fetched dubious fashion and starring the likes of unknowns Dascha Polanco, Nisa Gunduz, and Johnathan Sousa, Terror Comes Knocking: The Marcela Borges Story is not your typical product of the Lifetime Television Network. How inspiriting. That's thanks to some more effective production values, a thug it out cast, and atmospheric, dense direction by mad dog Felipe Rodriguez, a TV vet doing some very unlike, TV feats. I mean a studio exec could release "Terror Comes Knocking" in say 1000 theaters across the US right now and an audience wouldn't really know the difference between the mercantile and well, the thriller fluff. That's "knocking" down drag out. Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Havoc 2025 * * 1/2 Stars

HARDY AND THE BOYS

A one-word title for a movie (yet again), barbaric, slightly noir-like, made for the done-dirty, blood squib crowd. Yeah I'm talking about 2025's Havoc, an action thriller so thunderous and animalistic, you need ear plugs just to view it (unless the volume is at mute). So OK, is Tom Hardy's Patrick Walker a rogue cop? And is he Tom Ludlow's second cousin? And uh, did Tommy boy forget BIC razors ever existed? "What you got for me?" Oh TomTom, you have no idea.

So yeah, there's enough bullets and visceral gunfire and nasty probing to save the whales, a darkened hued look, and plenty of Gotham-style dirty pool when it comes to Havoc. Basically the flick is a little Michael Mann, a little David Ayer, and lots of Paul Verhoeven, all glitz and glitter and blood and grime. 

You want red dye corn syrup blasted onto the screen just for kicks and giggles? Havoc will set you free. You want a vehicle that seems like one big-arse Mexican standoff shot primarily in Wales (that's random)? Havoc will give you that opioid fix. Finally, you want star Hardy (mentioned earlier) roaming Havoc as if he's some off-world bounty hunter saddled with a sand-papered, five o'clock shadow? Prego, it's in there bro. "There are people out there looking for you". Gee, tell me something I don't know. Yeesh!

Starring the likes of Forest Whitaker, Luis Guzman, and Hardy (duh) and distributed by Netflix (who else?), Havoc is about a lowdown detective who must rescue a crooked politician's son from the criminal underworld (sadly I had to look this up on Havoc's vast wiki entry). There are tons of fistfights and shootouts and car chases, filmed three-dimensional-y by Gareth Evans as if he went on a bender and found some body-worn cameras used by LA's finest. If only Havoc could've avoided a murky plot met with tons of fading characters it would have "wreaked" a little more. Mixed depredation.  

Written by Jesse Burleson