F1: The Movie 2025 * * Stars

F-NEAR-BOMB

"We all lose our jobs if you can't pull off a miracle". The "you" refers to Sonny Hayes, a journeyman, drifter race car driver who loves his playing cards, his broke down mini van, and his slick tires on ye olde track. Hey, eat your heart out Frank Capua. 

Anyway F1: The Movie is a movie about Sonny and his 30 years later, alley-like return to the ring of Formula One (duh). "F1", well it's a sports drama that clocks in at a pretty swift 156 minutes. I mean I didn't think that was possible but it is. Semi-heady sequence, race, semi-heady sequence, race, PG-13 love-dovey clip, uh race. Rinse, rinse, repeat. 

So OK, F1: The Movie features Brad Pitt as Hayes and Javier Bardem as his race team owner Ruben Cervantes. Their scenes sometimes crackle with the rest of the film being rather dramatically inert. Bad side character actors with bad acting voices and a rather hackneyed screenplay from veteran scribe Ethan Kruger that has much ado about nothing when it comes to the lingo of motorsports. That's the misguided rub with "F1". I mean all the visceral, loud-arse heck for leather where you feel like you're in the cockpit doesn't compensate for what a hollow spectacle we've got going on here. 

"F1", yeah it only excels when it appears like a promotional video and/or advertisement for Formula One zealots on the come up. Heck, you've got to wonder if "F1's" helmer Joseph Kosinski gave up the reins to Michael Bay later on in production because producer Jerry Bruckheimer said so. That's a pretty scary thought. 

A little Tony Scott here, a little Cole Trickle there, a phoned-in Hans Zimmer score, the most mediocre parts of all tres, F1: The Movie wants to be as compelling as something like Ford v Ferrari but ends up looking about as Academy Award worthy as Gone in 60 Seconds (ouch). Lost "1".  

Written by Jesse Burleson