The Kitchen 2019 * * 1/2 Stars

Director: Andrea Berloff
Year: 2019
Rated R
Rating: * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Melissa McCarthy, Tiffany Haddish, Elizabeth Moss

2019's The Kitchen is my latest review. And no, it has nothing to do with Emeril Lagasse, the Power Smokeless Grill, or someone named "Dinah".

Released in August of this year, "Kitchen" is helmed by a rookie in writer turned director Andrea Berloff. Berloff wants to see how many unnecessary bodies can pile up in a 103-minute film and how many unknown assailants can be responsible for said bodies. I lost count after the first hour unless a high stakes drinking game was involved (ha-ha just kidding).

Starring the likes of a comedian-free Melissa McCarthy, a comedian-free Tiffany Haddish, Bill Camp, and future headliner Elizabeth Moss, "Kitchen" is like Widows for the veritable Showtime crowd. It could also be called The Godfather for pearls with gun-toting girls.

So yeah, I liked how McCarthy and Haddish got out of their funny woman comfort zones. I was also amused by the Domhnall Gleeson character (a Vietnam veteran and would be hitman) and I dug some of the 70's jams on "Kitchen's" earthy soundtrack ("Barracuda", "Carry On Wayward Son", "The Chain"). Still, The Kitchen is a little far-fetched and runs out of screenwriter Mafia ideals near its abrupt finality. Yup, this "kitchen's sink" is a bit too full if you ask me.

With minimal and reusable set locations (everything looked sort of like a Hell's Kitchen soundstage), threadbare production values, and a mean-spirited rue of which I've rarely seen before, "Kitchen" has to do with three downtrodden mob wives who take over the family business after their husbands are forcefully sent to prison.

All in all, "Kitchen" is entertaining to a fault with its three female leads going dark side and strutting around like the three sons of Corleone. Unfortunately, their plight feels a little farcical, a little unfathomable, and unseeingly bloody. Rating: 2 and a half stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson