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Wednesday, November 22, 2023

Apex Predators 2021 1/2 Star

SHARK-NO-DO

How bad is 2021's Apex Predators? Um it's well, genocide bad. "Apex" is a shark movie and the only reason why I gave it a 1/2 star is because the title sounds on fleek. Apex Predators is Plan 9 from Outer Space muck and it's in the "tank". Natch.

"Apex" is the equivalent of a bunch of buddies winning a contest to make a film with free reign. I mean how was that made possible? The special effects (pertaining to shark attacks) are nil and an insult to the audience. Forget that whole Hitchcockian concept because you basically get nothing, nothing I tell you.

Apex Predators clocks in at 62 minutes (the closing credits are an extra 8). It's pretty pathetic. The end credits actually feature all of the troupers and well, they aren't worthy of that accolade. Heck, the acting in "Apex" resembles a porno flick or some community theater BS. It's the worst of the worst.

The story of Apex Predators is a student film copycat of Jaws (beach goers get killed by sharks and that threatens a grand opening of a resort). Ugh. The only resemblance "Apex" has with that 70s vehicle is that someone actually says the word in a dialogue reading. Weird camera angles (that shouldn't exist) and abysmal editing a Jaws remake does not make. I wanted to shake out the ineptitude of director Dustin Ferguson like you wouldn't believe.

Filmed with a lens that suggests a low budget Cinemax pic or something captured on a camcorder, Apex Predators dares you to hate it, it really does (and I did). Its soundtrack just adds to the carnage, a loop of hipster guitar strumming-s, bad hip-hop ditties, and lousy synths. As for helmer Dustin Ferguson, well he should never be allowed to be behind the camera again. I mean if he wants to shoot home movies of his family and such as a hobby, whatev. That's his business. His "Apex" is the "crest" of fresh, great white dung. Pee-ew.

Written by Jesse Burleson

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