film reel image

film reel image

Friday, November 22, 2024

The Great Turkey Town Miracle 2023 * Star

BADLY BASTED

The Great Turkey Town Miracle is one of those rare Thanksgiving-themed pics to filter into the silly season. So is it bad? Yeah it's bad, like ketchup and cardboard pizza bad. If it was based on a true story (and I'm pretty sure it wasn't), then the truth has been skewed a little. An aloof, recently fired radio DJ gets hired (for no other reason than to service the plot) to get 4000 turkeys ready for that football-loving, meat-eating epoch in November. Why? So he can provide said turkeys for some needy families and keep his current job in the process. I mean you can't make this stuff up, can you?

So yeah, the radio DJ in question is Connor McCloud and well, he's played by unknown Angus Benfield. On a possible cinematic ego trip, Benfield acts not only as star but producer and would-be helmer as well. Angus bumbles, stumbles, and stutters his way through "Miracle", like a dude looking for his long-lost puppy. I mean why he would have his own main character portrayed as such a sad sack is beyond me. "Talk about dead air". You said it Angus not me.

I'm not finished. Let's look at the overall gauge of "Miracle" shall we. As something that's paced slow enough to make watching paint dry seem reasonable, The Great Turkey Town Miracle has acting in it that is rather brutal, a sort of community theater swipe meant to be kept away from the big screen. Then there's "Miracle's" predictability, its Muzak-style soundtrack that sounds like a girls choir at a school play, its sentimental goo that stretches from here to Katmandu, and its strange, Bible-thumping cast of mind. I mean why attempt to make such a mediocre, holiday version of God's Not Dead? Why? Heck, I was waiting for Reverend Dave to pop out of the woodwork and get his preach on. "Turkey" shot. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

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