Entourage 2015 * * * Stars

Director: Doug Ellin
Year: 2015
Rated R
Rating: * * * Stars
Cast: Jeremy Piven, Kevin Connolly, Adrian Grenier, Jerry Ferrara

I have never viewed the TV show Entourage. But after taking in the movie that it's based on (with the same title), I now want to purchase seasons 1-8 at the local Best Buy. This 104 minute vehicle with its boatload of cameos (most of them are pretty zany), is a lot of fun. What's on screen is cool and confident, frenzied and foul. It's one of the few times where the bait and switch of the trailer actually delivers. With popcorn and soda in hand, I laughed out loud in bunches seeing Hollywood expose itself, wink in spite of itself, and sort of make fun of its own celebritorium. The setting being the whole Southern Californian landscape, thumbed its nose in the fact that people like me (who live in cold, blustery Illinois), can't enjoy 365 days of gleaming sunshine and bikini-clad woman who grow on trees. And after seeing Entourage with its bromance interludes, crude humor, and insider, L.A. brandishing, I wanted to pack up my stuff and drive 2000 miles to join the party. Oh did I mention there's a scene where Haley Joel Osment is in a hotel room with 2 hookers and plenty of hard liquor. Cole Sear, we hardly knew ya!

Directed by the same guy who helmed the famed HBO successor (Doug Ellin), shot with the notion that no one walks around L.A. (almost no one), and featuring a scene where UFC fighter Rhonda Rousey breaks a character's arm to show some tough love affection, Entourage chronicles movie star Vincent Chase (Adrian Grenier). He has his quote unquote "entourage" following him around while he directs his first feature film titled Hyde. His boys consists of Eric Murphy (Kevin Connolly), Turtle (Jerry Ferrara), and his brother, Johnny "Drama" Chase (Kevin Dillon). Eric is producing said film, Turtle is just along for the ride (naturally, he's their driver), and "Drama" is playing a pivotal role pertinent to Hyde's success. Then, Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) comes into the picture. He's the studio head for Chase's baby and he's Chase's former agent. Based on problems with the budget, Gold has reservations about getting things primed for a future big box office hit. He's strapped for extra money that Vince needs to complete the final cut (visually). His mission: Fly to Texas and ask for this extra moola from two wealthy financiers (played respectably by Billy Bob Thornton and Haley Joel Osment). As expected, most of the ins and outs of Tinseltown are on display here. Everybody just wants to have fun and the vibe of Entourage constantly becomes more intoxicating. An ex-girlfriend of mine who used to live in La La land, told me that all anybody does out there is talk about movies and secure movie deals. Boy she wasn't kidding.

In retrospect, if you're an Entourage TV show junkie, I'm not sure whether you'll like the film or not because I can't speak for you (I've never caught one iota of it on the perennial boob tube). However, if you're not a fan of said show or have never even seen one episode, well you'll still have a heck of a good time following these four likable (and sometimes unlikable) city dwellers.

Now if it's cameos (they were mentioned earlier) that you want, Entourage has got em' in bulk. The ones in the Anchorman movies seem more like parodies and are mere child's play in comparison. You've got Liam Neeson  flipping the bird at Ari (from his car nearing a stoplight), you've got T.I. at a hospital complaining about all the children he's about to father (ha ha), you've got a balding Andrew Dice Clay getting his swerve on at a screening party, and you can't complete the guest appearance ring without George Takei (aka Lt. Commander Sulu) playing a priest that oversees a wedding ceremony. This is just the tip of the iceberg because there's many more bit parts to go around (during this flick, it seemed that celebrities just popped up everywhere. I get starstruck so I'm wondering if this is really what goes down in the uppity corners via the city of angels).

Anyway, the TV show Sex and the City tried to pull off the whole HBO network hit-transitioning-to-movie thing and it just came off as boring and overlong. Nothing against those four talented women. I would just rather follow these A to B-listers anywhere and at anytime (that's all). Bottom line: Go see Entourage. It's a refreshing summer expedition, it's harmless, and it's sort of a more commercial, more extravagant version of Swingers (which is referenced in yet another cameo). The result: 3 stars.

Of note: About ten years ago when I first moved to Chicago, an old buddy of mine hung out with Jeremy Piven at a Cubs game (Piven is an Evanston, Illinois native). He was really drunk, didn't know said buddy from Adam, and acted almost the same as he does in all of his movies (fast-talking with an enormous gift of gab). How do I know all this? Well my friend (whose name I won't mention) caught the whole thing on his Smartphone (before the whole YouTube craze began). As I viewed Jeremy's funny and restless antics, I figured that he was always in character and brought his work home with him. This was a pretty surreal moment if I do say so myself.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Tomorrowland 2015 * * Stars

Director: Brad Bird
Year: 2015
Rated PG
Rating: * * Stars
Cast: George Clooney, Britt Robertson, Hugh Laurie

In the late 1990's or early 2000's, I read that George Clooney seemed bent on being pickier via his upcoming projects (after Batman & Robin, who could blame him). He has in fact, stayed true to this notion for most of the way. However, with The Monuments Men and another misguided mishap in 2015's Tomorrowland (my latest review), the Cloonster isn't being pickier. Now he's just "picking".

Directed by Brad Bird (The Incredibles) and featuring plenty of green-screen overload, "Tomorrow" is a sci-fi threadbare that seems too complex for its own good. It's being promoted as a kid's movie mind you, a Disney movie. But there's too many thoughts and ideas coiled up here to facilitate even 130 minutes of running time. The pace for what its worth, is dictated on characters who bicker, fight, and talk rapidly. This is for all intensive purposes, to thrust the story along. What a travesty. Honestly, if I was a budding ten year-old, I'd probably exit the theater halfway through the second, combative act. Could it be that my inner brat is trying to get out and break free? Oh you know it.

With injecting humor that is uncomfortably tongue-in-cheek (more like tongues bitten right off), enough cartoonish, PG-rated violence that is manageable, and a showcase of steely-eyed contraptions that would make Inspector Gadget jealous, Tomorrowland has a structure that is predicated on two flashbacks (one long and one short). The proceedings chronicle young Casey Newton (Britt Robertson). She's the daughter of a NASA engineer, a curious science nut, and after finding a pin that transports her to a futuristic borough (just think of 'Tomorrowland' in the same vein as The Emerald City from The Wizard of Oz), well she's tapped to save the world. In order to succeed, she aids in the help of an inventor who's already taken in the sumptuous scenery (Frank Walker played by George Clooney) and a robot that doesn't age over five decades (Athena played by Raffey Cassidy who gives the film's strongest performance). As the three renegades come together, the only obstacle standing in their way is another inventor who eventually becomes governor of 'Tomorrowland' (David Nix played by Hugh Laurie). He's content with our world frolicking in natural disasters, calamities, and civil disorder. This dude can see into the future and it don't look too bright.

Now in terms of the acting, the leads are standardized in bringing their characters to life. It's the smaller roles and bit parts that come off as incredibly laughable. Anyway, Britt Robertson plays Casey Newton with a ton of overacting and reacting. After the final credits rolled, I realized that she's the closest thing to a female Shia Labeouf. Hollywood will probably embrace this and give said starlet more top billing. Does that mean I'm okay with it? Not really. But it doesn't matter because I don't have any say in the workings of Tinseltown. Then we have of course, George Clooney. He channels Frank Walker with a side of grumpy, a side of gruff and grizzled, and plenty of obligatory, Clooney head tilts. He looks bored but at least he looks bored and restless at the same time. That's a step up. Finally, we have Hugh Laurie playing the villainous David Nix. Listen, I think Laurie is a heck of an actor. What I don't get is why he would agree to spout such farcical soliloquies contained in "Tomorrow's" script. His speeches about the so-called "end of the world" and such feel more like acts of grandstanding than ploys to move an audience. And don't you just wish he'd don an American accent this time instead of using his normal, British one (that's just a personal preference for me)?

Bad lectures and Shia Labeouf cloning aside, "Tomorrow" is the type of ragtag conundrum that harbors a big budget ($190 million). It's strained Spielbergian and I predict that it might not find its audience after opening weekend. I mean yeah it is somewhat visionary but its vision is also kind of skewed. Granted, this could almost be 2015's version of Dune or Wild Wild West (I have opted to call Clooney's latest, the "Tinkertoy" movie). And I might as well say this: Two instances could have occurred during production. The first one could of involved an inebriated David Lynch wandering on set and whispering something into director Brad Bird's ear. The second one could have revolved around Bird emailing the Wachowski siblings for secretive consultation. You know I'm kidding right. Or am I?

All in all, Tomorrowland may have tip-top intentions and stilted aspirations. But it's mauled over with a preachy shtick and a little bit of manhandled cynicism. In one fell swoop, it settles in the "land" of the grandiloquent. The result: 2 stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Poltergeist 2015 * Star

Director: Gil Kenan
Year: 2015
Rated PG-13
Rating: * Star
Cast: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie Dewitt, Jared Harris

Over the past few years, I've seen dreadful, horror film remakes in A Nightmare On Elm Street, Carrie, and Evil Dead. 2015's Poltergeist (my latest review) continues this trend of mediocrity, of unnecessity. But here's the rub. It's far more awful than the vehicles just mentioned. In fact, this is the worst re-imagining of any cinematic endeavor that I've ever had the displeasure of viewing. Director Gil Kenan sticks to the basic blueprint of 1982's original only to not respect nor honor anything that made it emotionally (not to mention eerily) effective. Gone this time around is the creepy, lullaby-themed music. Gone is the Spielbergian virtues. Gone is the devastating pool scene where actual human skeletons pop up (I'm not kidding). Gone is the disgusting face peeling sequence. Gone is the everyman, suburban California landscape where doofus adults ride tyke bikes and spill beer all over the place (the setting is replaced by the state of Illinois, boring). Gone is the hip, pot smoking couple that was charismatically played by JoBeth Williams and Craig T. Nelson (the hubby and wife from the new version drink instead, also boring). And gone are the scares cause there ain't any of em'. In truth, I almost wanna call this Poltergeist reboot borderline comedic. The tagline back then was "they're here". The tagline this time around is "they're out to lunch".

Basing its proposition on a screenplay by David Lindsay-Abaire, 2015's version has a running time that is fairly shorter than the original. That doesn't however, make it any leaner, meaner, or tighter. This is truly perfunctory filmmaking in rough draft form. Nothing contained is out of the box or in a sense, updated (except for the aspect of today's technology being cell phones, iPads, and glossed over CGI). Yes the 1982 relic didn't have a whole lot of buildup while containing a few plot holes along the way. It did though, scare the bejesus out of you. Now we cut to 2015 and it takes about 20 minutes (I checked my watch) for evil forces to start their habitual hauntings. The way the newer version is supposed to frighten you (it didn't at all frighten me) is to provide systematic jolts. You don't feel as if you're watching a haunted house movie though. It just feels like you're walking through an actual haunted house or funhouse. You can sense the adage of ghosts and specters coming out from around the corner to yell "boo". You can also tell that every scare tactic hits its mark with some stage hand pulling a lever or two at approximately the right moments. Mindless? Yup. Laugh-inducing? You betcha. Oh and I almost forgot, there's the place where the family of the new version inhabits. In the original Poltergeist, everyone lived in a middle to upper class domain deemed modernized and relegated to suburbanite suture. In this luckless reboot, the residential area seems haunted right off the bat, like someone died there or some serious ruckus went down. If I was a realtor showing said dormant abode, I'd be ashamed of myself.

Now with this new vision of Poltergeist, comes the changing of the character's names, the location, and the ending which is anti-climatic in the highest regime. What is possessed here is a hack job, a rushed production, and something that would have Tobe Hooper and Steven Spielberg laughing their butts off if they ever decided to attend a screening. The plot follows the same notes as what went down over thirty years ago. Only this time, the family featured, doesn't have jobs, an income, or one iota of self-esteem. The question I asked myself was, are we supposed to feel sympathy or an aura of despair for these people? I'm thinking no. The script idea in question, probably only looked good on paper. I mean if you took a gander at the Freeling family from 82', everybody was more likable and seemed made up of better actors/actresses. They didn't come off as losers looking for a shoulder to cry on. Anyway, the new clan (the Bowens) consist of Eric Bowen (played by Sam Rockwell who is too talented to star in this muck), Amy Bowen (played by Rosemarie Dewitt), Kendra Bowen (played by Saxon Sharbino), Griffin Bowen (played by Kyle Catlett), and Madison Bowen (played by Kennedi Clements who sounds like the late Heather O'Rourke, looks kind of like Heather O'Rourke, but can't quite deliver her lines in the same, effective realm as Heather O'Rourke). They move into a rundown house (to scrape by) not knowing of the wicked entity hidden underneath the ground (in the form of graves with the gravestones missing). As the proceedings move along in a hasty, inadequate fashion, the "poltergeists" steal young Madison away because she can quote unquote, "lead them into the light and get them out of purgatory." That's when the Bowen family calls in psychic extraordinaire, Carrigan Burke (played by Jared Harris). He has his own TV show but now he's got actual, hard up demons to deal with. If you've viewed the original, you'll get an idea of what happens next. Young Madison is trapped in a flat screen, a rope is used, and paranormal investigators are staked out in GPS fashion. By this time, I was more interested in catching Ghost Adventures on high-definition.

Of note: If you are wondering about the middle child (a young boy) getting swallowed up by a tree (like in the original), well it doesn't really happen. Very tension-free. And if you are wondering if the same boy (Griffin) gets manhandled by a clown, well it comes off as filler. Give me the velvet, circus freak from 82' any day compared to this goofish, wooden puppet. In truth, I wanted to exit the theater during this moment. Unfortunately, it's something I said I would never do.

In conclusion, if you've never ever seen a horror flick before, you'd still not get goosebumps or chills from the 2015 version of Poltergeist. I feel the only reason why this thing ever got greenlighted, was to generate profit. The filmmakers and the studios could sucker a new generation of fans into ponying up their hard earned dollars. This would be to experience a mere sterilized revamping of a classic. In hindsight, the word poltergeist means a ghost or other supernatural being responsible for physical disturbances such as loud noises and objects thrown around. This current release only softens that notion and is not worthy of the title.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Aloha 2015 * * 1/2 Stars

Director: Cameron Crowe
Year: 2015
Rated PG-13
Rating: * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Alec Baldwin

I've always thought of Cameron Crowe and James L. Brooks as the same director. Scenes of manipulatively extended, romcom dialogue is what's in both of their arsenals. With Aloha (my newest review), Crowe possesses this nugget but doesn't go overboard. He instead lets the conch of a pedestrian filmmaker careen out. In fact, about the only thing that reminded me of his latest was the soundtrack. The guy who gave us Almost Famous and Jerry Maguire still wants to belt out the classics (Tears for Fears, The Who, and Hall & Oats oh my!). Is it fair that critics everywhere are currently lambasting his ode to Paradise (Paradise being a nickname via America's 50th state)? No it's not. Along with another ribbing droned on Cam with 2005's Elizabethtown, I sympathize in saying that said Kentucky fable and Aloha are flawed but quite watchable. Here, "you had me at hello" slightly translates into "you had me at kinda."

Make no mistake about it though, Aloha is somewhat messy. Discombobulated, choppy, and meagerly edited also comes to mind. At certain intervals, it descends into almost nothing. Then when you least expect it, there are some genuine moments. But hey, it's safe to assume that I'm not overwhelmed with praise. Uneven is indeed, a prickly term. I mean, is this a flick possessing a love triangle paired with quadruple facets? Sort of. Is what's on screen the right stuff touted as spaceflight symposium? Okay, why not. And is Cameron Crowe working for the tourism bureau in Hawaii? It sure seemed like it. Granted, I've never witnessed anything so bent on heightening the glow of Mele Kalikimaka in my entire life. I don't need to fly ten hours to experience the rainy season or surf the Pipeline. After viewing this scenic mesh with a running time of 107 minutes, I've already gotten my fix.

Anyway, after being nominated for three consecutive Oscars (in Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle, and American Sniper), Bradley "I got the world by the tail" Cooper is in almost every frame of Aloha. Here, Philadelphia's proud son tries his hand at playing a government contractor named Brian Gilcrest. Brain has been given a second chance. He's on the comeback trail and primed to work for a billionaire named Carson Welch (played by Bill Murray who sports some worldly scruff). Basically, he's in the process of launching a satellite and his talent rides on the concept of computer hacking via the Japanese intelligence (I think that's accurate). To complete this act, he has to venture out west by going back to the Aloha State (Hawaii of course). And while taking in the cool breeze, Mr. "Sexy Pants" (his unwanted nickname) runs into an old girlfriend (Rachel McAdams as Tracey Woodside), romances an Air Force watchdog assigned to follow him (Emma Stone as Allison Ng), and deals with an unsympathetic General (Dixon played by Alec Baldwin) who blasts his performances for past job excerpts. This is all done within the backdrop of ancient Hawaiian customs, picturesque Cessna rides, and Kahiko hula dances. In 2011's The Descendants, George Clooney proclaims, "Paradise? Paradise can go f**k itself". In 2015, Cooper's character says "you're not gonna pick my brains; they're unpickable". Ah, Hawaiispeak. Ring me another Mai Tai bartender.

All in all, the word aloha is defined as a Hawaiian term faceted to envelope greetings or the parting from someone. I was embraced cordially but still will greet Aloha the film, as a mixed bag. It's a vehicle that starts like an entered dream in which there is no beginning (this is a rule I obtained from the concepts of 2010's Inception). The proceedings then veer into deeper territory with some Space Age fabric not to mention sound barrier breakaways. Oh and the lovey dovey aroma is also in the air so try not to be too polarized by what you see. My rating: 2 and a half stars. Affection, peace, compassion, and mercy. That in a nutshell, heralds Crowe's current, May release as the cinematic equivalent of a mild hallelujah. See it and be sure to take the proverbial high road.

Of note: I don't dislike Emma Stone as an actress but with ample trying, I just couldn't buy her as a romantic lead paired up with the 40 year-old, Bradley Cooper. She's cute and perky with spunk. However, her look is that of a twinkle-eyed youngin. She's the kid sister, the daughter, or the girl you wanna do arts and crafts with. The movie's love story between her Allison and Cooper's Brian is forced upon us, the audience. It pronounces Stoney as a romanticized, military liaison in the renown, most obvious way. Oh and when she boogies with Bill Murray at a party function (during the film's midsection), it made me want to avoid listening to "I Can't Go for That (No Can Do)" for many years to come. Frightening.

Written by Jesse Burleson