Blood, Sand and Gold 2017 * 1/2 Stars

Director: Gaelan Connell
Year: 2017
Rated NR
Rating: * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Aaron Costa Ganis, Monica West, Christopher Redman

Blood, Sand and Gold is my latest review. What, no sweat and tears? Anyway, "Sand" doesn't have a MPAA rating but I'll go with a standard R. There are a few F-words, a cold-blooded murder involving a tied up escort, and a couple of other nasty kills. Just think of Blood, Sand and Gold as Raiders of the Lost Ark meets National Treasure. Now take away any excitement or verve that those movies hastily possessed.

Blood, Sand and Gold is your typical, slick Redbox endeavor. It has lots of glossy locations (Canary Islands, Dubai, Belgium, and Hong Kong to name a few), a no-name cast, a familiar movie poster (similar to Extraction, Arsenal, or Sicario), and a rookie director in 27-year-old Gaelan Connell. Released only in New York City, "Sand" is a globetrotting affair that feels surprisingly grounded. It obviously has a budget but I doubt it will break even on said budget.

With its minimal images of wealthy relics and its lack of insightful treasure speak, Blood, Sand and Gold still comes off like the cinematic poster child for modern day archaeology. It stars Monica West and Aaron Costa Ganis. West looks like a cross between Judy Greer and Tilda Swinton. Sadly, Ganis looks like the B-list version of Gerard Butler. Together, Ganis and West's characters (Jack Riordan and Mave Adams) travel the globe in search of priceless, 15th century artifacts needed for a salvage company. On their journey, they involve themselves in deeper territory as conspiracies about stolen treasures begin to surface.

In regards to the overall effect of Blood, Sand and Gold, watch for middling acting, ludicrous shootout sequences, and laughable fistfights that seem to be forced and used just for filler (that way "Sand" can safely say it's an action film). There's a car chase where a woman who's never shot a gun before, kills about three bad guys without missing once. There's also a scene in which an elderly dame (maybe in her 70's) turns all antagonistic and fires an AK-47. Finally, you have a romantic subplot between Riordan and Adams that lasts for about five minutes. It involves the French language and conversations about screwing on a table. Gag me.

As for the look of Blood, Sand and Gold, well it's not half bad. Cinematographer Chloe H. Walker provides mountainous landscapes, shots of gleaming deserts, and twinkling city skylines. However, the performances in "Sand" are so lackluster (the troupers either overact or seem wooden) that Walker's keen eye just becomes prepossessing, empty background. What a shame.

In conclusion, Blood, Sand and Gold is filmmaking water mold. Gaelan Connell's direction on it lacks a sense of coherent locality. The actors go from country to country and with each frame, "Sand" feels like its solely edited on the fly (that can't be good). All in all, it's best to just skip Blood, Sand and Gold unless it's the last movie left on Earth. Then, you should only see it once. Rating: 1 and a half stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson