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Saturday, February 13, 2021

The Wrong Valentine 2021 * * 1/2 Stars


In 2021's The Wrong Valentine, the Valentine in question is a high school senior who goes psycho man crazy right off the bat. His name is David and he is played by Evan Adams. In other high school news, students from the late 70s called. They want David's wavy hairstyle and devil-may-care attitude back. Ha-ha. 

So yeah, "Valentine" is a "Wrong" Lifetime flick. It has Vivica A. Fox being well, Vivica A. Fox. It also has an overbearing parent persona, an overbearing best friend persona, an overbearing admissions recruiter persona, a Los Angeles setting, and good old director David DeCoteau. 

The Wrong Valentine verging on camp, contains a twisted twist towards the end that I didn't see coming. Don't worry though. You'll still get to hear Vivica spout that infamous "Wrong" Lifetime quip for the umpteenth time.  

Using the same aerial shots and probably the same high school shooting locations from other Lifetime pics, The Wrong Valentine chronicles teenager Emily (played by Mariah Robinson). Emily is in the history club, Emily's birthday happens to be on Valentine's Day, and Emily is being pursued by 18-year-old David (mentioned earlier). David wants to be Emily's friend but also has other intentions. He's got a screw loose and stalks her to the point where she can't even breathe. 

In fact, every character in "Valentine" watches Emily like she's under some sort of microscope. If I'm Emily I'm thinking that I might need some space. If people don't leave me the heck alone I might have to run away and join the circus (ugh). 

In retrospect, The Wrong Valentine is director DeCoteau going over the top. He gets mediocre acting from everyone involved but his revelation mentioned earlier does improve the film's icky intrigue. Here's the problem though: Every goof in "Valentine" seems to fear David yet nobody bothers to alert the authorities or the high school powers that be. Evan's David is not really intimidating mind you. He's more like that pretty boy jerk nose who would tick off the wrong jock and get his butt kick in any HS brawl. Happy Valentine's Day everybody! 

Written by Jesse Burleson

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