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Thursday, March 25, 2021

Deadly Excursion: Kidnapped from the Beach 2021 * 1/2 Stars


"It's finally over". That's what I said to myself after watching Deadly Excursion: Kidnapped from the Beach. "Kidnapped" is a sequel to 2019's Deadly Excursion. I haven't seen the first film and I didn't like this camp fest either. Curiously though, I plan on going back to where it all started with these toolbox characters. 

Deadly Excursion: Kidnapped from the Beach was released in January 2021 (with its premiere in Cleveland, OH. Wha?). It's a Lifetime Flick but it sure doesn't feel like one. "Kidnapped" is more like a bad Miami Vice episode with its villains putting on a pseudo macho front. Somewhere in the afterlife the late Tony Montana is also laughing his caboose off. 

Deadly Excursion: Kidnapped from the Beach has shoddy production values even for a supposed Lifetime-er (if you look close there's some real fake CGI going on). There's also the worst overacting I've ever seen by Lifetime veteran Corin Nemec. Nemec's David McCarthy gets knocked out on multiple occasions and becomes pierced by a bullet. Surprisingly, the dude gets right back up even though he should be at a hospital getting checked for possible brain damage. 

The casting in "Kidnapped", well it's pretty bad. The mother and daughter leads look like they could be sisters. The father and son antagonists appear like they could be brothers. Finally, there's a henchman named Eduardo who looks like Billy Crystal with five pounds of wrinkle cream added. 

Deadly Excursion: Kidnapped from the Beach is well, pretty explanatory. It's about a wife, a husband, and their daughter being taken by a crime lord who wants to extort $200,000 from them. Look for most of the proceedings to take place on a beach in Florida (shocker). Also look for some bad, evasive running on screen from star Samaire Armstrong (she's certainly no Joan Benoit).  

Before "Kidnapped" concludes, a final scene suggests that the gateway is open to yet another sequel. Here's a proposed title: Deadly Excursion: "Dead" On Arrival. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

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