NOT VERY TOOTHSOME
"There's a shark!" So says a persona in 2020's Shark Season. And yes, she screams the line just like a young girl did in Jaws. "Season" is like Spielberg's juggernaut for the Lifetime ripoff crowd. Better yet, it's akin to a bad version of the Blake Lively vehicle, The Shallows.
Anyhow, Shark Season is pretty low budget but to its credit, the sharks look kinda real. But let's get back to how bad "Season" really is. Director Jared Cohn challenges the audience to play a drinking game. We're talking whenever he features an overhead shot of twentysomething victims in kayaks or those same twentysomethings spouting, "what do we do?" It's cinematic procrastination and after a viewing of Shark Season, you may be three sheets to the wind.
"Season" has its actors either overacting with cringe-worthy dialogue or underacting with the use of cue cards. It can be hard to watch and you wonder if the killer shark is bored as heck buying time in his or her hypothetical trailer. "Season" also suffers from a lack of suspense at least until the last ten minutes. Helmer Cohn would rather stew with his knowledge of Coast Guard lowdown or high tide hit on than build any.
Shark Season is about a man and two women being trapped on a sinking island (or islands) as a great white shark awaits to feast on them. Added to that, the active duty workers trying to save the three dolts could care less with their cold protocols. Finally, "Season's" production values are so off that there's even some shots where the kayakers are so close to land they could probably smell it and seek shelter.
"Season's" US title is actually Deep Blue Nightmare. Either way you cut it, "Season" is a nightmare to sit through. You don't necessarily side with the shark but you don't really root for the irksome leads either. One star "fish food".
Written by Jesse Burleson
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