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film reel image

Saturday, April 15, 2023

Bodyguard Seduction 2022 * * Stars

MY BODYGUARD REVIEW

2022's Bodyguard Seduction is a strange movie even by Lifetime standards. Lifetime-rs take note. I found it somewhat amusing and lead Jessica Morris, well I adore her. She's kind of an uber babe. But come on, what's up with her persona here, a sort of unlikable sex kitten and changeable tycoon who despite being in peril, always acts like she's in the mood (if you know what I mean). Heck, Jessica's Charley Huxton is so standoffish and otherwise aroused you'd think she was the actual villain (when she isn't). Again strange. 

Anyhow, "Seduction" has enough twists and turns to form a dozen soft pretzels. And that's even when you know who the antagonist is about 45 minutes in. The film also has enough red herrings to form a board game. I mean is the bodyguard in question bent on harming Huxton? Is said bodyguard's friend up for doing the same? Are Huxton's fellow co-workers looking to make her life miserable? Does Huxton know people are trying to kill her even though her brain is filled with the concupiscent? And does "Seduction's" setting need a crap load of LA/Hollywood aerial shots to let everyone know where odds and ends go down? Apparently so. 

As a Lifetime flick about a rich, female designer who falls for her bodyguard who may or may not be involved in her planned demise, Bodyguard Seduction baits us with steamy, PG-rated naughty scenes, obvious black lingerie, and characters who are at each other's throats just for the heck of it. "Seduction" is well, campy and teasingly trashy, almost begging the viewer to sit with its comely actors to try to serene them down. Kevin Costner and the late Whitney Houston, well they would sort of balk at this ode to romantic minders. Seduction of the Minotaur.   

Written by Jesse Burleson

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