film reel image

film reel image

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Apocalypse of Ice 2020 * * Stars


"I love you." "I love you too". "We have to get out of here." "Are you okay?" Those dialogue exchanges are said a lot during the film I'm about to review. Heck, they could form a drinking game. Oh well, disaster flicks are that way sometimes. I mean what else are you supposed to say when death might be on the horizon.

Anyhow, 2020's Apocalypse of Ice piggybacks on The Day After Tomorrow. It's no secret. Otherwise warm cities freeze up, characters travel cross-country to seek refuge and reunite with other character family members, and hairline fractures abound in frozen waters. "Baby, it's cold outside". Indeed.

The word "apocalypse" in Apocalypse of Ice means the complete final destruction of the world. Okay, I'll go with that. Add shards via the dawn of COVID-19 and a big time polar vortex and you got a real, Syfy channel humdinger. The green screen is obvious and smells of overkill, the actors banter back and forth like they're reading lines from an NCIS script, and poor Tom Sizemore is stuck in some Arctic shack in God knows where. Poor Tom and not quite enough whiskey to take that edge off. Ugh.

So you're probably wondering, did I actually enjoy Apocalypse of Ice? In fits and starts. The acting by Ramiro Leal, Torrey Richardson, and Sizemore (mentioned earlier) isn't half bad and the pic's pace certainly doesn't deem it to be boring. And did I also think "Ice" was implausible, misguided, and well, geographically challenged. Absotively boss, absotively.

A car falls hundreds of feet off an icy cliff yet the passengers only get cuts and bruises plus no real damage to the vehicle (unless you count a flat tire). Personas walk through a blizzard and then the next minute they're in snow-free territory where the temp might be in the 50s (huh?). The women seem to mostly survive any carnage while the men are always getting injured (sexist much?). Finally, people arrive from point A to B within a few skids on the road. One minute they're on a deserted highway, the next minute they end up right in front of a morgue (um, what?). At least The Day After Tomorrow dared you to wink at its amplification and not completely roll your eyes. "Apocalypse" now at erst.

Written by Jesse Burleson

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