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Friday, May 19, 2023

The Pregnancy Promise 2023 * * 1/2 Stars

CINEMATIC OATH

"Best friends shouldn't have to make time for each other". Uh-oh, cray cray BFF alert. That's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the lack of magnanimity in 2023's The Pregnancy Promise. Heck, it seems everyone in this Lifetime-r is a little rattled if not perturbed. Resentful dads, alcoholic moms, self-prophetic female teens, snobby cheerleaders, mayors oh my!

Rounding out at just under 90 minutes and feeling like the ultimate whodunit when it comes social media shaming and Mayberry mayhem, The Pregnancy Promise is about two besties who make a pact to get preggo at the same time. The problem? Well one of them wanted to wait for early adulthood and the other um, didn't. Birth control switcheroo in flashback form perhaps? Maybe. You'll just have to On Demand it to find out.  

Starring Macy Jacob, Amy Gamper, and Alexandra Swanbeck, "Promise" lives in a world where condoms obviously don't exist, high school-er(s) are abnormally catty, the courting process is futile, and "buns in the oven" just happen right out of thin air. Everything in "Promise", well it feels a little off-topic, swayed by plot mechanics, and convenient. Otherwise there'd be no movie legs to stand on. 

That's not to say that The Pregnancy Promise doesn't have some effective moments because it does. You just have to get past the unwitting of it all. I mean if you're into the crux of creepy manipulation and suburbia purgatory via the Lifetime network, you'll get a full helping here. Not only is "Promise" about what it's about (check the title) but it's also a kidnapping/extortion pic too. High school aerial shots, easily steered character types, middling to theatrical acting, concluding antagonist revealing, it's so Lifetime! I just wish the journey here wasn't so expedient to get through. Breaches of "promise". 

Written by Jesse Burleson

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