The Walk 2015 * * * Stars

Director: Robert Zemeckis
Year: 2015
Rated PG
Rating: * * * Stars
Cast: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ben Kingsley, Charlotte Le Bon

With his unique way of slipping into roles like some confident chameleon, you might as well belly up and call Joseph Gordon-Levitt a full-blown movie star. He can headline anything that an a-lister takes on. Whether he's imitating Bruce Willis (Looper), playing a likable muscle head (Don Jon), or just slinging high stakes at poker (Sin City: A Dame to Kill For), this once adorable child actor is now the real deal. Bring on Snowden even if it is in delayed release.

Anyway, if you are afraid of heights, it might be difficult to watch certain portions or especially the last bit of his 2015 release, The Walk (my latest review). This film is based on the true story of Philippe Petit, a high-wire artist who caught the world's attention sauntering across the Twin Towers (of the World Trade Center). Directed by special effects maestro Robert Zemeckis, "Walk" has Petit (played with heavy discipline and a broad French accent by Gordon-Levitt) traveling 140 feet on a thick, heavy cable. It's a moment that you need to see to believe.

Zemeckis nurturing the concept of 3D on his mind, shoots The Walk as if he's revisiting his own Forrest Gump (1994's Best Picture winner). Tom Hanks sat on a bench and narrated most of that epic in flashback. Here, Gordon-Levitt does the same thing but from high atop the Statue of Liberty. The difference between the two films is simple: "Gump" is more Homeric with storytelling that's not negligible. "Walk" isn't plotless yet not enough seems at stake. The trailer looked mighty compelling. The end result is breezy and almost comical in nature.

Having its climatic gesture taking place in August of 1974 and its running time clocking in at just over two hours, The Walk chronicles Philippe's drive and passion, his relentless persona of being difficult to the people who work for him. You see he wants to be the greatest wirewalker known to man and while living in France, he injures his tooth (street performing). In the waiting room at the dentist office, he sees a picture of the World Trade Center's Twin Towers (mentioned earlier). Petit becomes obsessed. During "Walk's" next hour or so, he trains heavily with each wire becoming longer and longer in length and higher and higher off the ground. Eventually, he finds his way to New York City traveling with his cutesy girlfriend (Anne played by Charlotte Le Bon). They befriend a photographer, a life insurance salesman, a stoner, and various other accomplices. All these half-strangers help Philippe succeed in pulling off the ultimate, illegal stunt (I think you can figure out where things are headed). This gives The Walk a sort of caper feel. 2001 had Ocean's Eleven. Here we have Petit's seven.

All in all, the three-dimensional space in "Walk" is sumptuous and avant garde. The look of it is salt and peppery, the sense of time and place is physically real, and the performances by all the actors are thoroughly impactful (especially Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Edited quickly yet overwhelmed by large amounts of buildup (is said French dude finally gonna be "Mr. Man On Wire" and cross over?), this thing still keeps you interested. Even the film score is Forrest Gumpian. My rating: 3 stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

The Martian 2015 * * * Stars

Director: Ridley Scott
Year: 2015
Rated PG-13
Rating: * * * Stars
Cast: Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Jeff Daniels

2015's The Martian (my latest review) is different from any film Ridley Scott has ever done. Yeah it's science fiction and all but you won't see aliens swallowing up Harry Dean Stanton whole, you won't see Harrison Ford retiring any replicants, and Russell Crowe ain't cutting off people's heads while yelling, "are you not entertained!" (oops, wrong genre). No this is probably Scott's first foray into feel-good territory, a sort of channeling within his inner, fantasy geek (Bill Nye and characters on The Big Bang Theory would be mighty proud). With "Martian", you gotta think All Is Lost in outer space (ha ha, get it), Cast Away on a planet millions of miles from Earth, and fictional splendor in the form of Apollo 13 (with added humor that sometimes deflates dramatic momentum). Matt Damon in the lead role, gives us an effectual, Hanks-ian performance. He even loses weight in the flick's third act to make it look legit.

Featuring a sun-drenched, bleached look (that's Ridley for ya), title cards when various troupers are introduced (I remember seeing this in Scorsese's The Aviator), plenty of bubble gum, seventies soundtrack hits, and dialogue that doesn't seem as clunky as was featured in last year's Interstellar (Matt Damon was also a stranded space cadet in that monster, box office hit), The Martian chronicles astronaut and goofy botanist, Mark Watney (played by Cambridge's favorite son). You see Mark is left for dead, stranded on Mars. His crew thinks he got pulverized by debris in a hellish sand storm. To make matters worse, NASA informs the world that he's departed and even has a bodiless funeral for him. Watney's solution: Try to stay alive long enough for anyone listening, to realize he's not in the grave and come back to pick him up (that could take up to three years). He figures out how to grow his own food, create water from almost nothing, and locate the Pathfinder probe (a robotic spacecraft from 1997). By detecting this probe, he will get the chance to regain contact with Earth.

Now based on "Martian's" trailer, I thought it might be silly for NASA to garner many man-hours, fork over millions of dollars for a rescue mission, and have five of their crew members risk lives to save one dude. I was erroneous. This vehicle makes you care about it all and then some. The actors do solid work across the board. You have Oscar nominees (Jessica Chastain, Chiwetel Ejiofor), villainous heirs (Sean Bean), and comedic veterans (Kristin Wiig, Mackenzie Davis) contributing threefold. The film's only heavy is perhaps, space and time (you could also throw in Jeff Daniels as Teddy Sanders, a snobbish, cocksure NASA contingent). Ah heck, it's safe to say that The Martian is darn predictable (you know Watney's gonna make it home, come on). The journey to get there though is still pretty alluring and seat-grabbing (if you wanna be Iron Man, just puncture your vacuumed suit and let it ride, hint hint).

In conclusion, various, big time directors have tried their hand at making quality cinema via the "Red Planet" (that includes the swooping Brian De Palma and John Carpenter). They failed miserably where Scott at least succeeds on a few levels. In the past, some of his work has lacked sentimentality relying on violent images and distant temperaments to get the job done. Here, he paints a picture more human, more amicable. Yeah The Martian is a bit overlong (a two hour running time could have sufficed things) and it sledgehammers comedy in the face of death and dying. However, when the lights go down and you have popcorn in hand, there's entertainment value plus intellectual insight to keep everyone occupied. Oh and you know what, David Bowie's "Starman" never sounded so good. Rating: 3 stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Everest 2015 * * * 1/2 Stars

Director: Baltasar Kormakur
Year: 2015
Rated PG-13
Rating: * * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Jason Clarke, Josh Brolin, John Hawkes, Jake Gyllenhaal

Most movies associated with historical significance, are four star affairs or Academy Award darlings. The one I'm writing about doesn't quite reach that plateau (it has an episodic, pilot feel during the first half). Darn it though if the proceedings don't come incredibly close (with cigar firmly in reach).

So OK, let's meet the antagonist of 2015's Everest (my latest review): The mountain itself, all 29,029 feet of it. There's plenty of ice, plenty of "detachments", and a lack of oxygen. With it comes man versus nature, "David and Goliath", reach the summit or reach quietus. Now let's encounter this film's protagonist: Every freaking climber who tries to conquer Earth's highest point and gets their butt kicked. "It's not the altitude, it's the attitude" quips co-star Jake Gyllenhaal (he plays real-life, expedition group leader Scott Fischer). Well attitude can only get you so far when low atmospheric pressure and frostbite take hold. Just a walk in the park boys! Yeah right.

Echoing 1993's Alive (I don't know, I guess it's the particulars of red cheeks and sleeping in frigid, blustery weather that reminded me) and based on a true story circa 1996, Everest chronicles a dozen or so climbers bent on arriving at its grand, pointy peak. At a running time of two hours, it starts out as a slow burn. There's fascinating stuff here, a lot of educational fodder (this thing is a playbook on how to climb any apex-enhanced structure), some TV movie interludes, some film strip pauses, and plenty of brief character introductions. Yeah a few climbers make it to the top, flags are planted, hands are raised, and heavy breathing commences. It all happens relatively fast. Then they try to climb back down while a brutal snow storm approaches (in the month of May no less). That's when the film kicks into high gear. You think the journey to get up to Chomolungma was your baby. Well, you'd be dead wrong.

Now with Everest, there are muscular portrayals by all the actors. Well-known stars (Jason Clarke, Sam Worthington, Robin Wright), Oscar nominees (Gyllenhaal as mentioned earlier, Josh Brolin, Keira Knightley, Emily Watson, John Hawkes), and relative unknowns (Michael Kelly, Tom Wright) contribute to its realism, its accuracy. Granted, this is the type of fluff that mountaineers will pay attention to, be glued to, really feel in their blood. I know nothing of their sideline but alas, my stomach was in my throat, I forgot to breathe, and panic set in. Oy vey!

Overall, beautiful cinematography, a considerable cast, and accurate locales (certain scenes were actually shot in Nepal's South Base Camp) make Everest a candidate for one of the year's best. A powerful, powerful moviegoing experience. Rating: 3 and a half stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

The Intern 2015 * * * 1/2 Stars

Director: Nancy Meyers
Year: 2015
Rated PG-13
Rating: * * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Robert De Niro, Anne Hathaway, Adam Devine

2015's The Intern (my latest review) is great. There I said it. This is feel good, cotton candy people. You stagger out of the theater with a sense of giddiness. Then you say to yourself, "wow, that's a real film". Its lead (Mr. Robert De Niro) has never been more likable. You wouldn't even know it's the same guy who played psychotics (Taxi Driver, Cape Fear), hardened criminals (Heat, The Family), and ornery grandpappys (Meet the Fockers, Little Fockers) some years ago. Crazy. With his co-star being Anne Hathaway (also very likable), screen chemistry is indeed abounding. A friendship develops between their characters producing an inner wallop. Now in all honesty, I don't ever cry at the movies. Here, I got the sniffles and that's saying something.

As directed by Nancy Meyers, "Intern" has one of her trademarks written all over it. That would be the adage of well-off people having problems (in relationships) that aren't life-threatening. You could also include the notion of two protagonists sharing scenes and being worlds apart in age (remember Keanu Reeves and Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give?). So yeah this flick is cutesy at times. Yeah it ends with a level of uncertainty (talking about cinema makes way for interpretation you know). Yeah it starts off sort of predictable. Yeah it has some nitwit, supporting characters and yes, there's a cringe-worthy boner gag (don't ask). But look closer and stick around for the full two hours (despite what other critics thought, the overlength didn't bother me). There's something deeper than what was advertised in the trailer. Here's a hint and spoiler alert (warning): The husband of Hathaway's persona (Matt Ostin played by Anders Holm), isn't much of a shade and doesn't hold the screen until his revelatory stance hits you up in the third act. Talk about a plot diversion in a so-called, mawkish comedy.

Shot near the perky side of Brooklyn, New York and featuring an email heist referencing caricatures from Ocean's Eleven, The Intern is a romcom without the "rom", a centerpiece sledgehammering facets of old age (you could also throw in older people's spar with newer technology). The story starts off without a struggle or conflict before later kicking into high gear. You have Ben Whittaker (De Niro), a widower who just wants some higher form of human interaction. He's retired, he's traveled the world, he hangs out at Starbucks, and when walking down the street, he gets hit on by weird women (Linda Lavin from the TV show Alice, who'd thunk it). Sadly, this is not enough for him. The solution: He signs up for a community outreach program in which seniors intern for thirtysomething boss, Jules Ostin (Hathaway). Ostin owns a Internet fashion company, built from the ground up. She's initially reserved, conservative, and off-putting. And her first impression of Ben is that he's too observant not to mention a little invading. Then things change. As time marches on, De Niro's Ben and Hathaway's Jules form a wonderful kinship. They eventually turn into best friends. Refreshingly, it was great to see two Oscar winners thrive at the top of their game. When they're on screen (together or separate), "Intern" is a real winner. When they aren't in frame (which hardly ever happens), the material is sadly, a little sluggish and kind of hackneyed.

Anyway, if you've recently watched The Internship (2013), you'll somewhat be reminded of The Intern. Both films start off similar yet the latter ascends to something much greater. Bottom line: Chalk up another round of effective, sentimental goo courtesy of the veritable Nancy Meyers. I'm gonna go with a rating of 3 and a half stars on this one.

Of note: De Niro's Ben Whitaker has a need to fill a void in his life. He's retired with money yet is bored. That's why he takes on the task of working in e-commerce territory. De Niro the actor, well he seems to be filling that same void (Bobby's rich but still likes to appear in three to four movies a year). With endeavors like Grudge Match, Last Vegas, New Year's Eve, and 2013's Killing Season, he hasn't been too picky about his projects. The Intern thankfully, reverses this trend. Mucho "De Niro" justified!

Written by Jesse Burleson

Black Mass 2015 * * * 1/2 Stars

Director: Scott Cooper
Year: 2015
Rated R
Rating: * * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Johnny Depp, Joel Edgerton, Benedict Cumberbatch

Godfatheresque. Goodfellas: The Joe Pesci Story. A Mystic River makeover. These are the words I would use to describe Black Mass (the flick I'm about to review). Is it my pick for best of the year? So far. Will it sustain Academy Awards momentum right into 2016? That remains to be seen. Either way, it's a knockout, a small-time mob yarn with plenty of attitude. To quote the Standells, "love that dirty water, oh Boston you're my home".

The direction in Black Mass is pragmatic and crisp. And although I've never seen Scott Cooper's earlier work, I liked his 2013 release being the Christian Bale vehicle, Out of the Furnace. In "Furnace", Cooper made it all about the performances while letting the conveying sensibilities fall into narrow territory. With "Mass", he now gets everything just right. There's a flowing timeline from the year 1975 all the way up to 2011. It's safe to say that real-life gangster James "Whitey" Bulger, gets his rightful, Hollywood due (don't worry folks, this dude is still a despicable human being).

As for the lead, well Mr. Johnny Depp sports hair-raising contact lenses and a grayed-up, receding hairline. He plays the Bulger character the same way Daniel Day Lewis took over the proceedings in There Will Be Blood. Both troupers are in almost every frame, both of them hold the screen as if it's a thimble, and both are larger than life. Truth be told, Depp's been a bad guy in other films but for some reason, this is his most vicious turn I can think of. He's certainly not likable, you don't root for him (you don't really root for anybody in this thing), and when he strangles a teenage prostitute after posing as her confidant, it just breaks your heart. Honestly, Johnny boy goes so far down the rabbit hole with Bulger's intellect that you forgot it's actually him. Good old Edward Scissorhands is too nice of an actor to kill someone and then tell everybody he's about to take a nap. Right?

Anyway, "Mass" with its Bostonian setting, its multiple scenes of people dying in broad daylight, and its freewheeling, seventies soundtrack, runs mostly in flashback (this does in fact, work to its advantage). Nobody and I mean nobody, does gloom and doom or dirty and grubby like Scott Cooper. The present day sequences which are inserted throughout, involve FBI interrogations with various members of "Whitey's" delinquent crew (they are known as the Winter Hill Gang). Unabashedly, the movie begins in the mid 70's as it chronicles Bulger's rise via the criminal food chain in Southie. He's the upper echelon of savagery, he's a murderer, he's a drug dealer, and he becomes an eventual informant for the Feds. Why you ask? So he can take down a fellow mafia chain trying to cut in on his regional turf.

Now a lot of critics and audience members (around the world) have touted this cinematic conch as quote unquote, "Johnny Depp's movie" or "Johnny Depp's show". I have to digress. It's much more than that. Many great actors here fade in and out. That in no way diminishes the effect of "Black's" stagnant (and straight ahead) entertainment value. Benedict Cumberbatch plays effectively, Bulger's senator brother (William Bulger). Dakota Johnson is solid in a couple of scenes as his girlfriend and mother of his dying child. Then you have Kevin Bacon in rage mode playing a torn FBI boss (Mr. Charles McGuire). Finally, you get a quiet, off-kilter hitman in Rory Cochrane. As Stephen "The Rifleman" Flemmi ("Whitey's" right-hand man), he doesn't say much yet his screen presence gives off apprehension in the worst way.

So for what's it's worth, "Mass" has the cojones to kick in the door and possibly kick you in the teeth. It's a gangster pic scaled down to the bare minimum (for my money, that's a good thing). Bottom line: A great cast, a few Scorsese-like exterior shots, a top five performance from Depp, clean editing, and some tasty Massachusetts locales give you the final rub. Yeah it's violent, yeah it's unforgiving, and yeah it's altogether antagonistic. But Black Mass checks in as a winner pretty much the whole way. My rating: 3 and a half stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

The Visit 2015 * * 1/2 Stars

Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Year: 2015
Rated PG-13
Rating: * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Olivia DeJonge, Ed Oxenbould, Deanna Dunagan

For the past couple of weeks, I've been hearing from critics that The Visit (my latest review) is the utter comeback film for Mr. M. Night Shyamalan. Interesting. If that's the case, then why is he bent on ripping off The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity via the first hour in. Listen Night, I know you've been taking a ribbing for not living up to the stature that is The Sixth Sense. But this hand-held, found footage thing seems so tired now, it might need a veritable doze. Time to "visit" something else dude.

Filmed in rural Pennsylvania (that's the Shyamalan way you know), featuring a surprise twist that I didn't see coming (I'm probably the only Dodo bird critic that didn't pick up on that one), and being rather generous for its PG-13 rating (I feel this thing should have garnered a hard R), The Visit does what many Shyamalan films do. It builds to a slow creep while you wait for the gotcha cessation. The story begins with the Jamison family. Paula Jamison (the perky Kathryn Hahn) is a single mother of two. Her husband left her to move to California and she hasn't seen her parents in about 15 years. On a whim, she decides to go on vacation with her new boyfriend while her kids (Olivia DeJonge as Rebecca Jamison and Ed Oxenbould as Tyler Jamison) take a trip to their grandparents farmhouse in the bleak, Keystone State. Here's the rub: Said grandparents contacted Paula through the Internet so Rebecca and Tyler are meeting them for the very first time. Chaos then ensues when John Jamison (Peter McRobbie) and Doris Jamison (played by Deanna Dunagan who gives the film's best performance) begin to act weird and creep out their fragile, young kin. Suicidal tendencies, scaling walls, collective feces, and dead bodies in the basement are what's on tap for you the viewer. Oh and with the tagline for The Visit being "Don't ever leave your room after 9:30 p.m.", I thought it could be up there with "I see dead people". In the case of this flick, the stars weren't quite aligned.

In retrospect, there's a few chills to be had, a few jolts, and the performances by the old timers are pretty impressive (the kid actors on the other hand, are quite annoying). But in the end, it's just a movie about two adolescents trapped in a house with a couple of crazy, deranged denizens (where else are the whippersnappers supposed to go, it's in the middle of nowhere). Sadly, these two unhinged grandparents aren't aliens or ghosts. They're just whacked out of their minds. As for Shyamalan, well he seems to excel with certain shots when he's not letting the young actors film documentary style. Big mistake. He should have just cropped the whole hand-held facet, dropped the incorporated comedy (which is good yet becomes embarrassing when a rap act takes over the closing credits), and just let it ride. Oh well. The Visit isn't awful but it's no where near as epic (or eerie) as his first three films. My rating: A nontoxic 2 and a half stars.

Of note: With The Visit, you can easily tell what's jittery fodder and what amounts to some capable direction from M. Night. My suggestion would have been to separate the two. Maybe have the found footage crap subjugate through a different lens or have its rec insignia placed in the right hand corner. It's an oversight at best and probably wouldn't bring greatness to fruition. Anyway, look for some gross moments here (a seventy-year-old woman runs naked and there are various scenes of poop in a diaper, yikes!) and a couple of Dutch angles right before a disturbing game of Yahtzee. Oof!

Written by Jesse Burleson

The Perfect Guy 2015 * * * Stars

Director: David M. Rosenthal
Year: 2015
Rated PG-13
Rating: * * * Stars
Cast: Sanaa Lathan, Michael Ealy, Morris Chestnut

Michael Ealy is a pretty likable ham. And his newest is a Screen Gems release recalling countless, psychological thrillers. The Perfect Guy (my latest review) dabbles in the vein of 2009's Obsessed, 1996's Fear, 1992's Unlawful Entry, and of course, 1987's Fatal Attraction. I'd say it's equal to or stronger than three out of the four films just mentioned (nothing can touch the sex-crazed rift between Michael Douglas and Glenn Close). Starting off as rather predictable and obvious, this flick surprisingly turns into an isolated, whiz-bang affair. Oh and when you compare it to the disastrous crud that was The Boy Next Door (which came out earlier this year), The Perfect Guy is literally The Maltese Falcon. Translation: I'm recommending it.

Director David M. Rosenthal provides the usual requirements for a modern day thriller here. He keeps things slick and trashy, casts good-looking people, moves the intrigue along at a meteoric pace, and makes sure the heavy goes perpetual psycho way before the hour mark. The story begins as a romance drama with the obligatory, jovial film score pouncing in the background. Sanaa Lathan channeling sadness, fear, and discontent like no other actress can, plays Leah Vaughn. Leah is a successful lobbyist (I guess that means she works for the government). She's attractive, sexy, and well off yet seems stuck in a nowhere relationship with her boyfriend (Dave King played by Morris Chestnut). Because Dave doesn't want marriage and a family with her, Leah then decides to end things on good terms. In walks Duncan Carter (played by Michael Ealy), a mystery guy who with a couple of subtle gestures (he buys her an iced latte one moment then saves her from being hit on the next), sweeps her off her feet. Things seem to be going well between Leah and Carter with Leah feeling like she might have found true love again. That's until Carter violently beats some dude up for looking at his car (or talking to his chic. Either way he's a combative man). Leah senses danger, feels unsafe around him, and eventually wants the two of them to not see each other anymore. Big mistake. Set to the backdrop of glamorous L.A., The Perfect Guy upsets you the viewer while keeping your eyeballs pinned to the screen. It's one part revenge tale, two parts obsessive escapade, and three parts eldritch. Bring the popcorn, ingest the sterile surroundings, and prepare to be creeped out big time.

Now the thing that sunders "Guy" from falling into a bowl of pseudo-madman cliches, is what it does with its main antagonist. And despite Ealy sort of straining to play him (whenever he gets mad it feels robotic and mildly laughable), the storyboard people and screenwriters turn his Carter Duncan into one of the most ickiest, stealthiest, and uncanniest stalkers ever. He gets minimal dialogue to play with and an effective, lunatic stare somehow making this character work. Carter is the kind of sicko that just can't let things go. He breaks into Leah's house, installs surveillance cameras there, lays under her bed while she has sex with another man, puts her toothbrush in his mouth, watches over her as she sleeps, steals her cat, hacks into her computer, and murders her acquaintances. All the while he gets his prowl-on wearing good old-fashioned, white latex gloves. Note to any beautiful and successful woman: Don't date a charming sociopath who changes his name, has no family, has no friends, and works in information technology. Run girl run!

In conclusion, The Perfect Guy is far from "perfect" (ha ha). I mean you've got the Ealy character deviating from actually being infatuated with Lathan's Leah (towards the end). It gets to the point where he ends up just becoming voyeuristic while toying with his victims like a maniac in a horror film. Regardless, things barrel along with some hard (unexpected) detours taken via the bare-knuckle storyline. That separates it from most mediocre entries in the thriller killer genre. My rating: 3 stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

A Walk in the Woods 2015 * * * Stars

Director: Ken Kwapis
Year: 2015
Rated R
Rating: * * * Stars
Cast: Robert Redford, Nick Nolte, Emma Thompson

Here are four things I picked up on while viewing 2015's A Walk in the Woods (my latest review): 1. hikers like the ones portrayed in the film, are really annoying. You literally want to shake them and say, "what's your glitch man". 2. "Woods" is a lot more vulgar than I thought. You have Robert Redford's character playing straight man to Nick Nolte's perverted old geezer. 3. this thing is based on a book by Bill Bryson. It is constructed on actual memoirs of him and his buddy attempting to stroll the infamous Appalachian Trail. He was in his forties when it all went down. Redford and Nolte are ages 79 and 74 respectively. I guess non-fiction goes straight out the window doesn't it? 4. A Walk in the Woods reminded me of Reese Witherspoon's Wild which came out a year ago. Both flicks deal with traveling thousands of miles by foot. The difference with Wild, is that it's a little more symbolic, much more depressing, and not jokey. Either way, you still gotta bring the big backpack, plenty of protein, and a shovel (for the smelly excrement of course).

With sumptuous scenery and a folklore soundtrack, "Woods" chronicles successful writer, Bill Bryson (Redford). He's got it all, a warm family and lots of best-selling books to his name. The problem is that he's bored and for certain reasons unknown, wants to hike from Georgia to Maine. His loving wife (Catherine Bryson played by Emma Thompson) is against his plight. She eventually caves in and only lets him go if he agrees to have one of his friends accompany him. Bill calls a bunch of his peers with all of them saying, "uh, no thanks". The one galoot that jumps at the chance, is Bryson's past acquaintance in Stephen Katz (Nolte). Katz is unmarried, wanted by the law, and loves hardcore junk food. Together they go on a journey, walking many miles and stopping at lots of rundown hotels. Chaos ensues in the form of a jealous boyfriend, two drunk drivers, some vicious grizzly bears, and a slippery cliff. In your mind, you're just gonna have to revert back to 2013's Last Vegas. It's the concept involving a band of old timers getting thrusted into a world of cocky twenty-year-olds deemed more astute and definitely more agile.

In terms of casting, the original plan was to have Redford use his buddy (the late Paul Newman) as his unequivocal comic foil. The two of them could have their Sundance moment and we'd get the full-on, Newman-Redford trilogy (you can't leave out The Sting you know). Oh well, I've always worshiped old Hud Bannon and may he rest in peace. But Nolte with his ragged, teddy bear looks, probably would still be a more humorous option anyway (since "Woods" is advertised as a comedy). As for Redford bringing the funny, well I've never seen him in that capacity. Alas, he channels the dry here and becomes the effortless yin to Nolte's yang.

All in all, this is quietly, a nanoscale film. It's also harmless and relatively wholesome. And despite A Walk in the Woods being utilized with forced, slapstick antics and references to fellatio (add various jokes about fellatio and an actual, masked act of fellatio to that list), the actors pull you through with a couple of poignant moments towards the end. Redford and Nolte have pretty good chemistry and I didn't think that was possible (I'm glad I was wrong). They fit into their roles like comfortable old shoes that have been worn for months. Bob's Bill is closed off, conservative, uptight, and preset. Nick's Stephen is fancy-free, inflamed, and a dodging man child. Together they are polar opposites but likable enough, a sort of Harold & Kumar for the AARP generation.

Now do they make it across the rugged trail in one piece? You'll have to see the movie to find out. Does it really matter though? Not entirely. After viewing "Woods", I realized that this so-called walk is instead, more of a hidden metaphor than anything else. It's ultimately about long lost friendship, having the courage to stay clearheaded for many a year, missing your soulmate, and finding out who one truly is. Bottom line: A simple premise, two legendary actors, and nature equals a pretty decent afternoon at the multiplex. And when Redford flashes that golden boy smile (his monumental trademark) via the last five minutes of the proceedings, you'll know that it's all good in these "woods". My rating: 3 stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson

We Are Your Friends 2015 * * 1/2 Stars

Director: Max Joseph
Year: 2015
Rated R
Rating: * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Zac Efron, Wes Bentley, Emily Ratajkowski

We Are Your Friends (my latest review) is about prospective DJ Cole Carter. His friends as they say, are just secondary pawns. Liberating itself as part Tony Manero escapade, part 8 Mile, and sprinkled with a little fairy dust from The Wolf of Wall Street, this is a film that's somewhat inferior to everything just mentioned. That in my mind, secretes its place among the many releases in the last dash, August scrap heap.

Notwithstanding, the music here is completely bumpin, the sun shines intensely, and beautiful women seem to grow on trees. "Friends" with its plot threads subjugating as dangling loose ends, sticks to its persona as an L.A. snob story (not sob story). Every character is of a certain class, every scene is a party (full of sex, laced joints, and plenty of eurodance cuts), and everything the next day is a reckless hangover. The one saving grace: Two appealing actors by the names of Wes Bentley and Zac Efron. They give burying performances and in the world of music mixing, one of their characters is the mentor and the other is the student. Their kinship as veritable tug of war, kept me somewhat interested. Otherwise, things sort of end when they end. Oh and did I mention this vehicle has the audacity to hint at the hope of a sequel (by the time the final credits roll)? I kept thinking to myself, would that actually work?

Referencing the alleyways of San Fernando and masquerading Los Angeles as a modern day Munich (Ecstasy and flashing, neon lights can't lie), We Are Your Friends chronicles one Cole Carter (Efron). He's an aspiring deejay, a man who's got the music in him (as Kiki Dee would say). He can take one track, promote variations on said track, and have any inebriated partygoer dancing till the break of day. Here's the problem though: He doesn't make very much money via this craft. And to supplicate his own income, Carter dabbles in phony real estate dealings (he's also accompanied by three of his buddies who pose as a low rent entourage). A chance meeting with a spin doctor higher up on the food chain (DJ James Reed played by Wes Bentley), sets him straight. He can polish up his technique, wreck the turntables at Summerfest (an all-out musical fiesta), and get his sorry butt out of quote unquote, "the Valley". While all this is going on, he has a thing for Reed's saucy, pseudo-like girlfriend (Sophie played by Emily Ratajkowski).

Random things to look for when taking in a viewing of We Are Your Friends: 1. A visual palate akin to something out of a Vitamin C music video. 2. Lots of giddy, techno music riffs. I wanted to get up and dance but was afraid to do so (I probably could have being that I was the only one in the theater). 3. A swift education from the filmmakers on the aspects of BPM (an urban definition for "beats per minute"). 4. Finally, a scene in which a death occurs (at a party) in the form of a drug overdose. What I'm curious about is why the person handing out the pills didn't get busted. I mean it was his fricken house!

Anyway, in my lifetime I've never seen a cinematic endeavor pertaining to the art of DJing. And in truth, I never would have thought that it could be made into an interesting enough component to carry a film. But darn it if "Friends" doesn't take itself way too seriously. That was probably what was needed. Max Joseph (he shoots mostly documentaries and shorts) directs in a hyperkinetic style. He's flash with a little bit of stash. He uses every nickelodeon technique in the book including a PCP trip sequence as animation fantastique. When his lead player (Efron's Carter) is out on his own or his role in a two-part character study arises, the proceedings have a responsibility to them, a blossoming. When Carter trades dialogue with his nitwit buddies (in the form of actors Shiloh Fernandez, Alex Shaffer, and Jonny Weston), We Are Your Friends becomes immature and immaterial. Basically, Saturday Night Fever turns into Saturday Night Cleaver. Ugh!

In conclusion, we all know what the month of August means. It's that time when movies scrape the bottom of the barrel. In fairness, there have been some exceptions to the rule (The Sixth Sense comes to mind) and some hardcore stinkers to boot (1998's 54, ouch). We Are Your Friends fits somewhere in the middle. Bottom line: "Friends" shouldn't let "friends" pay ten bucks to see the movie I've just reviewed. "Friends" should just tell "friends" to wait for it on DVD.

Written by Jesse Burleson

The D Train 2015 * * 1/2 Stars

Directors: Andrew Mogel, Jarrad Paul
Year: 2015
Rated R
Rating: * * 1/2 Stars
Cast: Jack Black, James Marsden, Kathryn Hahn

Ealing Studios The D Train (my latest review), is a risk taker. It's the kind of movie Hollywood just doesn't churn out anymore. Just imagine the late John Hughes, 80's Cameron Crowe, and even "Train" producer Mike White (remember 2000's Chuck & Buck?) butting heads while releasing a 100 minute-plus collaboration. That's what you get here. I'm in awe of the film's perfect casting (James Marsden is gold as actor Oliver Lawless, a B-lister wannabe), its biting, retro soundtrack ("Turning Japanese", what a classic), and its dare to be outside the box in terms of theme or thesis. What I'm not in awe of, is its wishy-washy tone with characters who are well dug in, yet hypocritical in their actions. There's barely anyone to root for and truthfully, The D Train is no comedy (even though it's advertised that way). After a rough and rugged revelation thirty minutes in, this flick's caboose detours into darkness pretty darn quickly.

Featuring a devilish cameo in the form of Dermot Mulroney (for me, this was the best couple of minutes in the whole shebang) and illuminating a cringe-worthy scene in which a man gives a 14-year old boy advice on how to have a threesome with two girls (ugh), The D Train focuses on Dan Landsman (played by Jack Black). He's a family man, a toad that works at a company close to going under, and a committee head for the 20-year reunion of his high school class. People generally don't like him, he's a spaz, and what's worse, he tends to be short and obtuse with his own kids. But hey, he's got a plan. He's going to fly from "the Steel City" to Los Angeles, CA to get one of his old classmates to attend said reunion. Oliver Lawless (Marsden) is his target. Lawless is uber famous starring in a cheesy commercial for suntan lotion. If Danny boy can get this dude to grace everyone's presence, many will think he's cool and on the ball. Chaos ensues during an awkward, hazy recruitment between nerd and hunk. Just think Brokeback Mountain on the modern day tip.

First time directors Andrew Mogel and Jarrad Paul film "Train" in two acts. Act one involves L.A. with its glitter and glitz not to mention its penchant for shallow malevolence. Act two is the reunion (over 2400 miles away), a sort of forced mess of despondency. There's plenty of drug use, plenty of innuendo, and lots of lying. Like I mentioned earlier, this vehicle crosses a line but at least it tries to be a different animal. I mean there's points to be had here.

Nevertheless, here's some tidbits that threw me for a loop with The D Train: 1. If Daniel and Oliver slept together (spoiler), why can't Daniel just let it go? He's got a wife and two kids and yet he wants to talk to Oliver about it as if they're in a relationship. Weird. 2. Why does Daniel kick Oliver out of his house and then quit the reunion committee because said Banana Boat guy is the main attraction? Wasn't it his lame brain idea to have Ollie come to Pittsburgh in the first place? 3. Finally, why would Daniel risk his job and his dignity just to get a no-name, Hollywood cliche back home to anoint every townie with his allotment? What's the point really? It just feels like the act of a desperate man, a man who needs a hobby or some sort of counseling. Drivel. I mean it's just plain drivel.

In the end, what's authentic in scope, is confusing in latitude. What's icky in tone, is absorbing in viewership. "Train" is a bruising affair with hardly any laughs. The lead actors dive into their roles (with much discipline) yet the resolve is unclear. Is this a movie about isolation? Maybe. Is it about the need for reverence? I guess. Is it about envy? Sure why not. And is it about inadequacy or just the requirement of friendship? You could say that. Honestly, I couldn't decipher what the be-all end-all was. That makes it hard for me to truly garner a recommendation. The D Train is not exactly a "train"wreck. But it merely derails when it should just barrel through. The result: 2 and a half stars.

Written by Jesse Burleson