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film reel image

Wednesday, October 26, 2022

Student Body 2022 * * Stars


"Where do you think we are, Jurassic Park?" Ha ha. No you're at a high school trying to escape a mascot-masked killer with a sledgehammer. Sounds like a hoot. 

Anyway, a few underachieving students decide to get revenge against a malevolent math teacher (or is it the other way around) in 2022's Student Body. Said math teacher is Mr. Aunspach and he is played by Christian Camargo. Camargo is well cast because man he's got that gaunt, creep-o factor. 

"Body" eventually becomes a horror film but in the meantime, it's almost like a Kevin Williamson concoction except that everyone is a little more unpleasant and void of wit (Kevin was the dude that gave you Scream and Teaching Mrs. Tingle). Just imagine a poor man's Matthew Lillard or a poor man's Jamie Kennedy and you're on to something. 

Student Body with its 90s preppy slasher look, verges on blood-drenched camp. Its characters (except for maybe one) are unlikable and mean-spirited, like pre-millennial bullies with over the top dispositions. I suppose that's director Lee Ann Kurr's dotty vision, to have young people you hate get what's coming to them in bludgeoning fashion. Kurr thinks she is making a veritable camp classic but "Body" lacks that agog factor. I mean you're not really curious as to who lives or dies. 

"Body" stars Montse Hernandez, Camargo, Cheyenne Haynes, and Ausin Zajur (just to name a few). Kerr directs them conveniently, like pawns in some sort of overripe, R-rated version of the new Saved by the Bell. It's amusing to a fault if you've seen that 2020 Peacock series. 

Student Body is also mildly compounded, fashioning itself as a murderous whodunit that's not too hard to figure out (I did in the last twenty minutes). If there is ever a sequel (and there probably will be) they should call it "Body Double". Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

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